May 27, 2008

Hoping for something extraordinary

My birthday is next Sunday.

My friend H was asking me what I wanted for my birthday, I told her I wanted something extraordinary. She made a sarcastic comment as she said she meant to ask about what I wanted for a birthday gift not a birthday wish.

I told her I didn’t have anything specific in mind, I told her that I would like to spend a few hours on my birthday with friends or something, away from my kids, and then go back to my kids and have another celebration with them.

She asked me if that was my extraordinary something, or if getting a divorce on my birthday would be better. I told her neither would be that extraordinary really; they would be a relief of course, and I would be grateful, really grateful.

Something extraordinary is not my birthday wish; it’s what I want on my birthday. When asked to describe what it could be, I said something that would give me more hope and faith that better things are awaiting me, that all the pain and agony I feel from time to time are worth their while. I want something that would make my heart bounce with joy despite all the scars.

I have faith that it will be ok, but I am not always sure that I will be ok when all is over; so I want to know that I will be ok, I want to feel it and see a glimpse of it on my birthday. It would be a good change since he managed to ruin 8 birthdays so far!! Yes, my last good birthday was my 18th, and when asked how old I am I pause a little because somewhere inside, I am still hung on that number; I feel the years that came afterwards were stolen, or simply wasted.

So dear God, please make only good things happen to me next Sunday; it would be great and I would really appreciate it.

13 comments:

Xero said...

kol sana wenty tayeba , may it be the sweetest Sunday in your life

Deeeeeee said...

I really really hope you get something beyond extraordinary this birthday, something you'd love that's completely out of your mind... and ever more I hope your birthday wish comes true!

insomniac said...

xero,

thanks :))) this is the first "kol sana wenty tayeba" i get... ok, he sent me a text msg like 3 days ago, but anything from him doesn't count ;))

ya rab :)


D,

men bo2ek le bab el samma... i am being an optimist ahoh... 3alala my high expectations matgeesh 3ala demaghy :)

Anonymous said...

:)))))))
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!

R

insomniac said...

thanks hun :)

when is urs?

Ma 3lina said...

Happybirthday Mokdeman :))

Hope u get ur extraordinary thing isa :))

insomniac said...

thanks moqadaman :)

ya rab :)))

7amdela 3al salama ;)

Anonymous said...

It's 11th of september 11/9 :D , tab3an i'll remind u of ben-laden 3ala tool .

Thanks for asking :) .

R

insomniac said...

hahahaha, no... the twin towers did flash in my head tho!

virgo! nice :)

Sherif said...

May all you wishes come true ..

I wish I could present a gift myself ..

Je te souhaite tout le bonheur

Sherin

insomniac said...

sherif,

thanks... this is quite the gift!

merci :))

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello My Dear

The age of a person is never counted in the number of the years he lived, and no, it is not counted in terms of experience. It is actually counted in the number of moments the person remembers, the little moments that he enjoyed, or the moments that sculptured into his soul.
I am sure you will have something extraordinary in your birthday; it might be a really little moment that will mark the end of a year and the start of something new. New isn’t always bad, though it can’t be granted. But I am sure that you will have your moment just keep your eyes wide open to catch the tiny thing happening and if it helps to keep them wide shut to see just do it ;)
Happy birthday Miss Growing Old :p maho lazem tekbary :P bas ekbary mn bara bas and keep the 18 yrs old girl inside.

insomniac said...

age is measured by a lot of things! some of those you mentioned in addition to more...

more importantly it depends on the person and his/her preceptions...

i think what makes me feel older is knowing that some of my years were wasted that way!

anyways, i don't wanan grow any older la men bara wala men gowa... ana mosta3eda afdal 3ayela that way :)))

thanks shimaa