Linger

I always loved that song! Ever since I first listened to it; and I loved it even more when I listened to the live version from the Pavarotti and Friends concert for the Children of Bosnia.

It was strange for all my friends to hear me say how much I loved that particular song because they would tell me things like “I don’t see you getting your heart broken over anyone, you have a careful heart and you’re too strong to be wrapped around anyone’s finger” and later, they used to say with a puzzeled tone “but you're happily married, this song does not suit you”… hehehe *sarcastic laugh*

For the past three years, this song used to make me ache way too much. I have verses of it written all over my notebooks, and the journal I kept, and even on word files!! It didn’t just hurt because he hurt me; it hurt because I let him hurt me. I let him wrap me around his finger, I let myself be foolish enough to believe his lame ass lies, I let him use me, and at some point, I let him change me.

This song made me angry at myself more than anyone else!! I thought I was smarter than that; smarter than to fall for a person like him. That’s what people told me all the time, and that’s what I believed; I am a smart person who wouldn’t let any one take advantage of me… again, hahahaha *ok, I actually find this funny*

This song was my worst nightmare come to life! Knowing that he wasn’t worth it, acknowledging he’s a piece of crap and yet for some reason wondering why he had to let it linger.

A few days ago, as I was driving with my sisters to or from Alexandria (I honestly don’t remember), the song played. And for the first time in the past three years, I sang along with a huge smile on my face; no sadness, no bitterness, no anger, but most of all, no linger.

It’s still a good song, too good to remind me of him.

** this was written a coupel of weeks ago, only posted today for Ran