January 3, 2008

I couldn’t stop laughing!

Yesterday, my dad was going to Alexandria with one of his best friends, a man I just enjoy his company. If it weren’t for my kids’ flu, I would have joined just to be around people who actually make me laugh from the heart. Looks like my prayers were answered, for around an hour or so after my dad left to pick up his friend, I found his friend calling…

(sorry the conversation is in English transliteration, but translating it would have killed the fun really)

Uncle N: aloo
Me: aiwa ya uncle, ezayak? *big smile on my face*
Him: Kowayes, kowayes seebek… kan nefsy tekoony mawgooda ma3aya delwa2ty we teshoofy el manzar da! *an extra serious tone*
Me: Manzar eh?
Him: mayetwesefsh, bas ha7awel la2en de la7za tarekheya…
Me: shokran *smiling again*
Me: kheir???
Him: ABOOKY, el ragel el mo7taram elly lama beyedkhol makan el nas beto2af 3ashan tesallem 3aleeh… elly lama beyesh7'ot fel beet el sha7'ta, bey7'aleeko teleffo 7awaleen nafsoko…
Me: Aiwa aiwa, 3arfah… 3amal eh ya3ne!
Him: Geh le7ad 3andy we a7'adny we so2na le7ad Master’s we geena no2af 3ashan neshrab 2ahwa we nesally la2eeto labes gazma farda bonny we farda sooda
Him: el beeh elly 3amel beyefham fel alwan mesh 3aref el bonny men el eswed
Me: ya uncle wenta betkalemny leeh, enta mesh 3andak camera 3al mobile, sawarro besor3a abl ma ya7'od el mobile mennak…*still laughing*
Him: yaaaah, fatetny, maho ya setty 2am gab gazma Tanya men el shanta *baba’s voice in the background* bey2oolek ebnek el gazma howa elly bey7ot gezzam mesh shabah ba3daha gamb ba3daha…
Me: bas ebny 3aref el far2 been el gazma el sooda wel gazma el bonny, 7atta es2al baba hay2ollak… we eza kan bey7otohom mesh gamb ba3d, da mesh 3ozr aslan….. rabena yekhaleek leya ya uncle 3ashan kalemteny tesaya7lo..
Him: la howa ana haskot, eskenderya kolaha hate3raf…. Khody 3ayez yekalemek..
Baba: aiwa ya *insert some sheteema, but in a joking tone* ebnek yeb3ed 3an gezamy khales… fada7toony
Me: enta kol 7aga te2oly ebnek, feen 3eneek…
Baba: aslan ana geet 2a2la3 el gazma oddam el game3, wel denya showaya dalma, la2eet farda be robat we farda men gheer robat…
Me: KAMMAN!!! *laughing even more*
Uncle: *in the background* ya3ne mesh bas 3andak 3ama alwan, la2 a3ma tamaman
Baba: bas eskot enta khales, 3ala fekra, el ragel da mesh hayenfa3ek….
Me: wala tez3al, 2ollo yama bento nezlet be farda we farda, de marra aslan nezlet be farda be ka3b we farda la2, we lama ma3erfetsh temshy eftakaret enaha beto3rog we khafet 3ala nafsaha….
Baba: begad??!!!
Me: Ah, kalemooha es2alooha *laughing even more, for it did happen*
Baba: tab khod khod ya abu el habla…
Uncle: tab ana benty habla, Allah yekoon fe 3oon bentak
Me: la ya uncle, ana a3da 3andohom, mesh hala2y 7etta abat feeha keda…
Uncle: tab khalas…. Kefaya keda, yalla bye, hakalem ba2eet el nas a7kelhom… tesba7y 3ala kheer ya bent (baba’s name)

My dad turns 59 next February; I think he’s getting old!! He never NEVER would have even worn a pair of socks that wouldn’t match his outfit!!! He has like million shades of each color and he has a name for each, although he would call dark dark olive: grey; but still, he could tell one shade of color from the other regardless what he called them.

When I told Maat about the shoes incident she was like “BABA!!!!! Ya 7aram ya baba”.

P.S. Cousin O, I know you check my blog from time to time, I would appreciate it if you do not tell any one in the family this, until I do it myself in the next family gathering… I don’t want people finding out about my blog girl :)


Maat said...

you are soooo meeeeean! of alllll people baba is the last one expected to do such a thing and for you to just "tesaya7eelo" like that... it's a huge disgrace for him aslan and he's probably very ashamed!!! 7aram 3aleeky prestige el ragel! poor daddy, luf you!

mean mean daughter! I can't wait to hold something like that against you and get back at you :P

Anonymous said...

Come on!!! 59 is NOT old!

The post itself didn't make me laugh (was it supposed to?) but I'm glad you're laughing yourself :)

insomniac said...

if i am so mean maat, why r u laughing???

u know i like to spread the laughter around, just like him... he would have done so much more had any of us done that!!! let alone el tahzee2 kaman :)))))

and i did it with LOVE :)))

of course i know how ashamed he must have been, especially that he's more used to be the one making fun of others, moreover, uncle N gave it to him BAAAAAAD, marra men nefso, maho baba ta7no all the time :))) it's karma baby!

when i do something like that, ana elly hafda7 nafsy.... i do embarrassing things all the time, i just take them lightly and ppl don't get to make a big deal out of them... me smart :p

am not so luffing u now :p ( u know better)

Anon., come on you, he's almost 60... anyways, old or not, i wish him the best health :))

yeah, it was supposed to be funny, the mean part was that it was on his account, poor baba.... thanks dude/dudette (????)

Ma 3lina said...

That's really hilarious....

Ur dad nd his frnd r so amusing nd funny nd it seems they r gr88 frnds too

thx alot for the laugh:)

embee said...

/me continues laughing my ass off!

This is hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

Karma has a fucked up way with catching up with people.
With your dad it has a sense of humor.

My grandpa stares at shoes with an inquisitive look on his face, like he is thinking, what the hell is this thing?
Shoes; they're tricky man.
Karma here is just a b!tch.

(Now you get the idea of old age.)

insomniac said...

ma 3alina,
he's one of baba's best since college... gr8 sense of humor... my father has a twisted sense of humor as well that he passed on to me, only my mood hasn't been up lately!

enjoy it girl... hope this remains to be the mood of my blog :D

i am sorry about your grandpa... i know what old age usually means when it comes with health problems! i will never forget how my late nana lost the ability of speech. i don't think it has to do with karma, because it does not necessarily mean she deserved it, neither does ur grandpa......

BaTaBeeT said...

howa yemken 3eb ebnek fe3lan :D
bossy i kept laughin for a loooong while 3la 7war el lonen
bas ama get 3and 7etet wa7da b robat wel tanya la2 i totally suffocated from laughing :D

bas bardo ...3'altet ur son

w 7war om ka3b eli 7'ayfa 3la nafsaha la tekon 3iana w bto3rog... begad eh el 3ahat di :D

LOOOOOOOOOL ... nothing more :D

insomniac said...

i am happy u laughed battou :)

i know u hate my son 3ashan beytaneshek... but in his defence, he asked for you a couple of days ago and refused to go home because he wanted "batabatbabat"


BaTaBeeT said...

eh da begad ?!!! tab ana gayalo ma7'sos
omal 3amel 3lia te2eel leh !!!

dana 7atala3 3eno :D

Deeeeeee said...

Wow, your dad can tell brown from black! That is just really cool! My dad would stop and think if I took him by surprise and asked him what color I was wearing!
I remember last time I took him shopping he picked out two ridiculous shirts and I picked out one... I lay them all on the table and told him "Pick which ever one you like as long as you buy the one in the middle".

Mom and I still can't control some of the outfits (or misfits) he puts together! :)

insomniac said...

my dad thinks he's picasso when it comes to colors!!

damn, i said iw ouldn't make fun of him... i meant he really has a name for each color and he can tell them apart

as outfits go, my dad is actually very aware of what he wears! he spends hours thinking which tie matches which pair of socks... he would wake me up to ask my opinion sometimes and starts calling me names when i tell him socks have to be a solid color and spare us the drama :)