January 23, 2008

Dear Friend,

My father and your mother were friends since college, and their friendship extended to a family level. We traveled together more than once; we were practically family, and I really really liked your family very much, especially your mom; she will always be the mother I never had.

As adolescents, you were a bit of my idol; I always thought you were cool, stylish and had a bright presence that I think I faded out in the background every time we were together. Sometimes I envied you for your sense of humor that could win people over no matter how insensitive it could be. After all, you are Libra; Librans have that charm that make them screw up and not even have to apologize… they just smile, and for some reason they are forgiven. God knows I hate all Librans for that!

As I became a teenager, for some reason, I started disliking you! I have a few reasons but they all seem stupid and dull now, so I would rather not discuss them. Nonetheless, I could never be rude or mean to you because you just don’t allow people to be that way to you. Damn Libra!

What happened???? Well, I kinda know!!!

We both fell for the guys of our dreams. We lived the romantic dream to the fullest; we married the guys we loved. Everyone in our circle of family and friends seemed to be happy for us… how little did we all know! Enough dwelling on that, it turns my stomach!

Well, I know how mine turned out to be; a liar and a cheater with a disturbing twist of delusion and insanity! He did change a lot in me when I was with him; thank God I am considerably over the damage he caused. I am quite aware of the scars, but I would like to think my spirit is still in tact.

What on earth did he do to you?? Last time I saw you, you were pale beyond belief; and it’s not because of your deteriorating health condition, which by the way I think has to do with your extremely low morale. You seemed broken in so many ways it made me wanna tell you a lot of things; I just didn’t think we were ever close enough for me to talk, and I was afraid you’d get hurt if those words came from me.

I would never tell you to walk out on your marriage; I know it is not an easy decision, I know! And perhaps he’s tolerable in ways I wouldn’t understand, perhaps he’s a good father to your children, and perhaps he even has his moments with you. I understand he doesn’t have to be the jerk mine turned out to be, and I honestly wish he isn’t, because you deserve happiness girl.

But please, don’t ever let him kill your spirit or make you feel as miserable the way you looked last time. I know some men can diminish your self worth, but I think it’s basically because they have low self worth themselves. When he’s being obnoxious, remember that you never allowed people to treat you that way without even having to show attitude; that was your gift, use it. And don’t let anyone get under your skin… you are funny, young, beautiful, a good mother and have a kind heart… that’s a lot of things people do not have in one package, if he doesn’t appreciate it enough to acknowledge it, then at least you should!

I can’t promise you things will get better, for I don’t know. Here is what I can promise you: you are loved. By every one of us who knows you, your family, my family, your friends, our mutual friends, and myself.

I wish I could call you up and tell you all that, but I am afraid it could make you cry, I am afraid you would feel the way I do when people call me up and say “are you sure you’re ok”. This phrase makes me realize something must be terribly wrong for people to keep asking and then I start feeling “not ok”.

God bless you and your beautiful kids.

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