January 20, 2008


Don’t nod your head when I ask for help, unless you really plan to help

Don’t help if by helping, you think you're entitled to judging me or giving me unwelcomed advice

Don’t make me feel like my request for help was too much; if you won’t help, just say so, gracefully please; it already took me forever to consider whether I should ask for that help or not

Don’t give me attitude and say you have your own load of shit, and then expect me to control my attitude; you know the shit loads I’m sinking under, wanna trade??

Don’t piss the crap out of me, then come and talk to me like nothing had happened, or tell me I should be more ‘forgiving’ because it’s not about that

Don’t apologize; God knows where I stand on apologies, I am sick and tired of hearing them

Don’t rant randomly, you have no idea how sensitive I am these days; I am most likely to take each and every word the wrong way, and God knows I must have done that a million times already

Don’t give me the are-you-ok treatment, or the I-know-you’re-broken treatment; I am not ok, but I am not broken

Don’t give me the you-should-be-doing-fine-already treatment either; if it’s to motivate me to stand on my feet and move on, it’s not working. Just let me take my time and try to bear up with me if you can’t help

Don’t judge me and don’t make up your own expectations of how I should act or behave; for your information, I torture myself over this more than enough, you just have no idea

Don’t smother me with questions and/or suggestions, I need my space even when I know that my status as a mother doesn’t leave room for much of it, but I DO need it, I promise

Finally, PLEASE don’t take my crankiness and my irritability the wrong way, I wish I could smile and pretend nothing is wrong like I usually do, but this is the only time I let my troubled feelings surface… Nonetheless, I love you, all of you… just lately, I haven’t been able to feel your love or support, and I kinda feel unwelcomed… I wish I had other options, but right now I don’t, and this is making me miserable in so many ways…


Anonymous said...

Funny as it is, I sort of happen to know all these Don'ts..but a little shaky as what the Dos are.

(Funny as in weird, not as in HAHA)

insomniac said...

the DOs are tricky i have to admit, but those who really care can spend time figuring them out!

did i mention i was high maintenance??

however, u did bring up a good point that made me take the time to write this:

Do, be helpful when u can, and when you can't, try to be considerate enough to realize that the person who asked for help had his own pride issues to work on... so just tell them you can't help with a smile, a short friendly no is easiest to handle...

Do, keep your judgements and unwelcomed advise to yourself... you can talk about them later when the time is more appropriate and it doesn't look like ur using the help factor as leverage

Do, explain yourself without being offensive and crude and without doing too many justifications that would make it look like ur always right, it can be insulting....

Do, watch what comes out of your mouth, because words do hurt... whether you will be forgiven or not, mean words are not easy to forget

Do, try to give the person the average treatment without assuming their mood...

Do, try to imagine what it's like walking one mile in the other person's shoes, and act accordingly

would appreciate ur feedback :)

Anonymous said...

the DOs ARE tricky!

Nora said...

The do's are tricky, you're right.
But at the same time.. it is the least a person should expect from people that care about them.
You need to deal with people in the way that they need to be dealt with. Well, that is my philosophy anyway...


insomniac said...

that's right :o)