Showing posts with label embarrassing incidents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embarrassing incidents. Show all posts
July 1, 2008
Two things that remind me of my x!!
Two things I can’t do at all, and every time I am in need of having them done, I think of my x and remember how I never had to learn doing them simply because he did them!
Number one, tipping! I don’t know how to tip people, I swear it’s hard! I personally find stuffing people’s sweaty hands with money a tad embarrassing for me and humiliating for them!! Call me a snob, but even when I used to take 3eedeya, I never liked the idea of aunts and uncles stuffing money in my hand that way; so I can’t really imagine myself doing something to anyone that I hated being done to me!!
Now, I really wanna tip the nannies at my kids’ nursery for the efforts they’ve been doing with both my kids, but I can’t seem to find a way!! It’s pathetic, I have the money in my pocket, I know exactly who I want to give it to, but I don’t have the guts to give them the freakin’ money, I don’t know how to do it or whether I should be making eye contact and smiling or not!! I even thought of putting them in white envelopes with the names of the nannies, but I don’t know, it seemed too showy from my end, which is not how I want to be at all!! ARRRGGGHHHH I feel like crap not being able to show my gratitude and appreciation!
Thinking about that all the way from the nursery to work today, made me remember my x and how I could always whisper in his ears that I wanted to give a tip but I was too shy and he would take care of it!! Yes, I tried watching him to see how he did it but I guess I just never had it in me to it myself, it’s embarrassing!!
Number two, killing insects! I have mentioned my phobia before and I have mentioned that no matter how I attempt to fight insects, I will never really be able to stop fearing them. Two days ago, beem came running calling for me to see what mocha is doing, I went there to find him trying to grab a sticky half eaten skittles that was abandoned on the floor by him earlier that ants all over it! My first instinct was grabbing mocha while screaming hysterically and making sure no ants were on him; I washed both his hands and feet while feeling a million ants all over my body I started crying!!
Yeah, I see or think of any of those creepy living things that can surprise you like ants, roaches, geckos, spiders and even rats, and I feel utterly disgusted and now they remind me of him; all the more reasons to feel grossed!! Eww!! It’s scary because I don’t want my kids to grow up feeling the same way about insects just because they get to see me freak out every time I see any! I mean if there was anything I wish they take after their father, it would be his ability to kill all sorts of those things!!
February 14, 2008
Seriously!!!
I am responsible for organizing an event where the company I work for hosts a big meeting inviting other companies within the same field. So as I prepared the invitations and had them sent out last week, I left my name as the contact person for any updates regarding the attendees and the reports I am supposed to receive in advance to be available in that meeting.
BIG MISTAKE!
I mean I just wrote my first name and my last name! I did not write my dad’s name because I know people in the field would recognize it. I thought I was relatively safe from being recognized as his daughter (which is not embarrassing at all except for the part where people call and start saying weeeeiiird things)
So here is goes…
Mr. X: Hey inso (yes, he nicknamed me), ezzayek ya habibty 3amla eh
Me: yes, ezzay 7adretak (thinking it was a friend of baba’s whom baba passed my work no. to for whatever reason)
Mr. X: we ezzay ‘ABOOKY’, eh 7ekayto el ragel da, regleeh akhadet 3ala Alexandria keda leh?
Me: 3ady ba2a, merato el tanya kanet 3ayana showaya (mesh 2aly abooky, he must know the joke about baba having a second wife in Alex)
Mr. X: hahahaha dana kalemto yoom el khamees (the day I sent the invitations) 2a2olo en benty fel maadi, but he told me he was in Alex (ok, so baba is sheikh 7aret el maadi now!!)
Me: kont tekalemny, ana assed makano… ana 3arfa el soot bs ma3lesh mesh merakezza, meen ma3aya (la 3arfa el soot wala beta3, bas ba3mel manazer)
Mr. X: ana lessa ba3etlek email
Me: (refreshing my mailbox and reading his name in a stupid loud voice) Mr. XYZ (the name did not sound familiar!!)
Mr. X.: aiwa, ana ebn el kalb da, hahahaha
Me: *mumbling* (ha2olo eh ya3ne, ah masalan?)
Mr. X: hab3atlek ba2a el hard copies later, forsa sa3eeda ya insomniac eny kallemtek, salemeely 3ala baba
Needless to say, my faith in baba’s acquaintances has shaken!!! DRAMATICALLY
But then there was that other guy calling to tell me that they did not receive an invitation, so I asked him about his company name and confirmed that an invitation has supposedly been sent, and with my most polite tone I told him “ana hab3atha le 7adretak 7alan via fax, we in sha2 Allah tesharafna yoom el meeting”, he thanked me and referred to me as Miss insomniac… ok, I won’t interrupt him to tell him “madam men fadlak”… lol
He called me yesterday asking if I received the soft copy of the report, I confirmed and asked if his company was to send the hard copy, he said he’d send it today and said he’s looking forward to seeing me again referring to me with Miss! Today, shortly after I received the report he called asking if I received the hard copy, I confirmed, so he went on and on about how it’s a pleasure talking to me referring to me as Miss again!!! Then he paused and asked me:
Him: your family name sounds familiar, do u have relatives in maadi??
Me: I’m sorry can I get your name again? (well, if he knows baba I might as well write his name down and tell baba he said hi, mana fadya)
Him: folan el folany
Me: ahlan be 7adretak, sorry I am not good with names (in fact I am)
Him: so u have relatives in maadi?
Me: yes, who do u know? (I like a3mel 3abeeta)
Him: Mr. ABC (baba) he was the chairman of the NGO for blah blah blah
Me: yes, he’s my dad
Him: really, then Mr. DBC is your uncle??
Me: yes, in fact he’s my dad’s second cousin (ok, this can go forever, since my dad had another second cousin who used to work in the same field, only he died, Allah yer7amo)
Him: you know I live in maadi too, and I used to come to your dad’s office around 10 years ago
Me: Really. (that was the most uniterested ‘really’ ever said)
Him: yeah, I think you were a little girl back then, akeed keberty we ba2eety 3arooosa
Me: (LOL) merci
Him: khalas salemeely 3ala baba and I will see you on the day of the event ya MISS insomniac
El ragel gayebly 3arees shaklo… eh el araf da!!!! Maat, I know how it felt with the last guy who proposed through your boss (did I just say too much?)
I think I am about to change my name. any suggestions people??
P.S. my real name is not insomniac, and all the aliaces are not the people’s real names either. OK!
BIG MISTAKE!
I mean I just wrote my first name and my last name! I did not write my dad’s name because I know people in the field would recognize it. I thought I was relatively safe from being recognized as his daughter (which is not embarrassing at all except for the part where people call and start saying weeeeiiird things)
So here is goes…
Mr. X: Hey inso (yes, he nicknamed me), ezzayek ya habibty 3amla eh
Me: yes, ezzay 7adretak (thinking it was a friend of baba’s whom baba passed my work no. to for whatever reason)
Mr. X: we ezzay ‘ABOOKY’, eh 7ekayto el ragel da, regleeh akhadet 3ala Alexandria keda leh?
Me: 3ady ba2a, merato el tanya kanet 3ayana showaya (mesh 2aly abooky, he must know the joke about baba having a second wife in Alex)
Mr. X: hahahaha dana kalemto yoom el khamees (the day I sent the invitations) 2a2olo en benty fel maadi, but he told me he was in Alex (ok, so baba is sheikh 7aret el maadi now!!)
Me: kont tekalemny, ana assed makano… ana 3arfa el soot bs ma3lesh mesh merakezza, meen ma3aya (la 3arfa el soot wala beta3, bas ba3mel manazer)
Mr. X: ana lessa ba3etlek email
Me: (refreshing my mailbox and reading his name in a stupid loud voice) Mr. XYZ (the name did not sound familiar!!)
Mr. X.: aiwa, ana ebn el kalb da, hahahaha
Me: *mumbling* (ha2olo eh ya3ne, ah masalan?)
Mr. X: hab3atlek ba2a el hard copies later, forsa sa3eeda ya insomniac eny kallemtek, salemeely 3ala baba
Needless to say, my faith in baba’s acquaintances has shaken!!! DRAMATICALLY
But then there was that other guy calling to tell me that they did not receive an invitation, so I asked him about his company name and confirmed that an invitation has supposedly been sent, and with my most polite tone I told him “ana hab3atha le 7adretak 7alan via fax, we in sha2 Allah tesharafna yoom el meeting”, he thanked me and referred to me as Miss insomniac… ok, I won’t interrupt him to tell him “madam men fadlak”… lol
He called me yesterday asking if I received the soft copy of the report, I confirmed and asked if his company was to send the hard copy, he said he’d send it today and said he’s looking forward to seeing me again referring to me with Miss! Today, shortly after I received the report he called asking if I received the hard copy, I confirmed, so he went on and on about how it’s a pleasure talking to me referring to me as Miss again!!! Then he paused and asked me:
Him: your family name sounds familiar, do u have relatives in maadi??
Me: I’m sorry can I get your name again? (well, if he knows baba I might as well write his name down and tell baba he said hi, mana fadya)
Him: folan el folany
Me: ahlan be 7adretak, sorry I am not good with names (in fact I am)
Him: so u have relatives in maadi?
Me: yes, who do u know? (I like a3mel 3abeeta)
Him: Mr. ABC (baba) he was the chairman of the NGO for blah blah blah
Me: yes, he’s my dad
Him: really, then Mr. DBC is your uncle??
Me: yes, in fact he’s my dad’s second cousin (ok, this can go forever, since my dad had another second cousin who used to work in the same field, only he died, Allah yer7amo)
Him: you know I live in maadi too, and I used to come to your dad’s office around 10 years ago
Me: Really. (that was the most uniterested ‘really’ ever said)
Him: yeah, I think you were a little girl back then, akeed keberty we ba2eety 3arooosa
Me: (LOL) merci
Him: khalas salemeely 3ala baba and I will see you on the day of the event ya MISS insomniac
El ragel gayebly 3arees shaklo… eh el araf da!!!! Maat, I know how it felt with the last guy who proposed through your boss (did I just say too much?)
I think I am about to change my name. any suggestions people??
P.S. my real name is not insomniac, and all the aliaces are not the people’s real names either. OK!
January 3, 2008
I couldn’t stop laughing!
Yesterday, my dad was going to Alexandria with one of his best friends, a man I just enjoy his company. If it weren’t for my kids’ flu, I would have joined just to be around people who actually make me laugh from the heart. Looks like my prayers were answered, for around an hour or so after my dad left to pick up his friend, I found his friend calling…
(sorry the conversation is in English transliteration, but translating it would have killed the fun really)
Uncle N: aloo
Me: aiwa ya uncle, ezayak? *big smile on my face*
Him: Kowayes, kowayes seebek… kan nefsy tekoony mawgooda ma3aya delwa2ty we teshoofy el manzar da! *an extra serious tone*
Me: Manzar eh?
Him: mayetwesefsh, bas ha7awel la2en de la7za tarekheya…
Me: shokran *smiling again*
Him: ABOOKY
Me: kheir???
Him: ABOOKY, el ragel el mo7taram elly lama beyedkhol makan el nas beto2af 3ashan tesallem 3aleeh… elly lama beyesh7'ot fel beet el sha7'ta, bey7'aleeko teleffo 7awaleen nafsoko…
Me: Aiwa aiwa, 3arfah… 3amal eh ya3ne!
Him: Geh le7ad 3andy we a7'adny we so2na le7ad Master’s we geena no2af 3ashan neshrab 2ahwa we nesally la2eeto labes gazma farda bonny we farda sooda
Me: *LAUGHING*
Him: el beeh elly 3amel beyefham fel alwan mesh 3aref el bonny men el eswed
Me: ya uncle wenta betkalemny leeh, enta mesh 3andak camera 3al mobile, sawarro besor3a abl ma ya7'od el mobile mennak…*still laughing*
Him: yaaaah, fatetny, maho ya setty 2am gab gazma Tanya men el shanta *baba’s voice in the background* bey2oolek ebnek el gazma howa elly bey7ot gezzam mesh shabah ba3daha gamb ba3daha…
Me: bas ebny 3aref el far2 been el gazma el sooda wel gazma el bonny, 7atta es2al baba hay2ollak… we eza kan bey7otohom mesh gamb ba3d, da mesh 3ozr aslan….. rabena yekhaleek leya ya uncle 3ashan kalemteny tesaya7lo..
Him: la howa ana haskot, eskenderya kolaha hate3raf…. Khody 3ayez yekalemek..
Baba: aiwa ya *insert some sheteema, but in a joking tone* ebnek yeb3ed 3an gezamy khales… fada7toony
Me: enta kol 7aga te2oly ebnek, feen 3eneek…
Baba: aslan ana geet 2a2la3 el gazma oddam el game3, wel denya showaya dalma, la2eet farda be robat we farda men gheer robat…
Me: KAMMAN!!! *laughing even more*
Uncle: *in the background* ya3ne mesh bas 3andak 3ama alwan, la2 a3ma tamaman
Baba: bas eskot enta khales, 3ala fekra, el ragel da mesh hayenfa3ek….
Me: wala tez3al, 2ollo yama bento nezlet be farda we farda, de marra aslan nezlet be farda be ka3b we farda la2, we lama ma3erfetsh temshy eftakaret enaha beto3rog we khafet 3ala nafsaha….
Baba: begad??!!!
Me: Ah, kalemooha es2alooha *laughing even more, for it did happen*
Baba: tab khod khod ya abu el habla…
Uncle: tab ana benty habla, Allah yekoon fe 3oon bentak
Me: la ya uncle, ana a3da 3andohom, mesh hala2y 7etta abat feeha keda…
Uncle: tab khalas…. Kefaya keda, yalla bye, hakalem ba2eet el nas a7kelhom… tesba7y 3ala kheer ya bent (baba’s name)
My dad turns 59 next February; I think he’s getting old!! He never NEVER would have even worn a pair of socks that wouldn’t match his outfit!!! He has like million shades of each color and he has a name for each, although he would call dark dark olive: grey; but still, he could tell one shade of color from the other regardless what he called them.
When I told Maat about the shoes incident she was like “BABA!!!!! Ya 7aram ya baba”.
P.S. Cousin O, I know you check my blog from time to time, I would appreciate it if you do not tell any one in the family this, until I do it myself in the next family gathering… I don’t want people finding out about my blog girl :)
(sorry the conversation is in English transliteration, but translating it would have killed the fun really)
Uncle N: aloo
Me: aiwa ya uncle, ezayak? *big smile on my face*
Him: Kowayes, kowayes seebek… kan nefsy tekoony mawgooda ma3aya delwa2ty we teshoofy el manzar da! *an extra serious tone*
Me: Manzar eh?
Him: mayetwesefsh, bas ha7awel la2en de la7za tarekheya…
Me: shokran *smiling again*
Him: ABOOKY
Me: kheir???
Him: ABOOKY, el ragel el mo7taram elly lama beyedkhol makan el nas beto2af 3ashan tesallem 3aleeh… elly lama beyesh7'ot fel beet el sha7'ta, bey7'aleeko teleffo 7awaleen nafsoko…
Me: Aiwa aiwa, 3arfah… 3amal eh ya3ne!
Him: Geh le7ad 3andy we a7'adny we so2na le7ad Master’s we geena no2af 3ashan neshrab 2ahwa we nesally la2eeto labes gazma farda bonny we farda sooda
Me: *LAUGHING*
Him: el beeh elly 3amel beyefham fel alwan mesh 3aref el bonny men el eswed
Me: ya uncle wenta betkalemny leeh, enta mesh 3andak camera 3al mobile, sawarro besor3a abl ma ya7'od el mobile mennak…*still laughing*
Him: yaaaah, fatetny, maho ya setty 2am gab gazma Tanya men el shanta *baba’s voice in the background* bey2oolek ebnek el gazma howa elly bey7ot gezzam mesh shabah ba3daha gamb ba3daha…
Me: bas ebny 3aref el far2 been el gazma el sooda wel gazma el bonny, 7atta es2al baba hay2ollak… we eza kan bey7otohom mesh gamb ba3d, da mesh 3ozr aslan….. rabena yekhaleek leya ya uncle 3ashan kalemteny tesaya7lo..
Him: la howa ana haskot, eskenderya kolaha hate3raf…. Khody 3ayez yekalemek..
Baba: aiwa ya *insert some sheteema, but in a joking tone* ebnek yeb3ed 3an gezamy khales… fada7toony
Me: enta kol 7aga te2oly ebnek, feen 3eneek…
Baba: aslan ana geet 2a2la3 el gazma oddam el game3, wel denya showaya dalma, la2eet farda be robat we farda men gheer robat…
Me: KAMMAN!!! *laughing even more*
Uncle: *in the background* ya3ne mesh bas 3andak 3ama alwan, la2 a3ma tamaman
Baba: bas eskot enta khales, 3ala fekra, el ragel da mesh hayenfa3ek….
Me: wala tez3al, 2ollo yama bento nezlet be farda we farda, de marra aslan nezlet be farda be ka3b we farda la2, we lama ma3erfetsh temshy eftakaret enaha beto3rog we khafet 3ala nafsaha….
Baba: begad??!!!
Me: Ah, kalemooha es2alooha *laughing even more, for it did happen*
Baba: tab khod khod ya abu el habla…
Uncle: tab ana benty habla, Allah yekoon fe 3oon bentak
Me: la ya uncle, ana a3da 3andohom, mesh hala2y 7etta abat feeha keda…
Uncle: tab khalas…. Kefaya keda, yalla bye, hakalem ba2eet el nas a7kelhom… tesba7y 3ala kheer ya bent (baba’s name)
My dad turns 59 next February; I think he’s getting old!! He never NEVER would have even worn a pair of socks that wouldn’t match his outfit!!! He has like million shades of each color and he has a name for each, although he would call dark dark olive: grey; but still, he could tell one shade of color from the other regardless what he called them.
When I told Maat about the shoes incident she was like “BABA!!!!! Ya 7aram ya baba”.
P.S. Cousin O, I know you check my blog from time to time, I would appreciate it if you do not tell any one in the family this, until I do it myself in the next family gathering… I don’t want people finding out about my blog girl :)
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