November 12, 2007

Kel el ahadeeth…

I really didn’t wanna write any more posts about you. You see, I have decided to toss you away, for good, even regarding the kids… your choice anyways, free will and all!!

Even when I went home yesterday to find out about the notification you sent, which stated that you were only obliged to pay for public school fees as much as the kids (your kids by the way) are concerned!! I got pissed for a split second, and then thought “How typical! Desperate to get on my nerves and to get a reaction out of me”.

Later, as I was laying in bed, right before I dosed off, I kinda thought to myself “Did he even consider –just consider- for a split second there what the kids would think or feel if they are ever to find out about that notification, well in addition to the ta3a notification”!! I guess not! But if you did not consider, how come you took the time to think of that kind of action? Why am I asking those questions anyway?? It’s not like any answer I would come up with would justify your behavior or how you could just.. I don’t know, be you!!

I see fathers –­including my own (whom I’ve had serious troubles dealing with as a child and teenager)- and I think if it is fair that my kids will not be able to have one (yes, this sounds like the way you chose it to be, and boy will you regret it one day!) Then, my senses tell me in a very strong tone “This is not the father your kids deserve to have, as a matter of fact, this is not any kind of figure your kids should have in their lives. They deserve much better than a spineless coward who would only know how to hide behind legal work, instead of visit and hold them in his arms to realize that he actually needs them more than they do”.

And then, I log onto my mail account and find a job vacancy forwarded to me by you with a note wishing me luck!!

So here is what I have to say about that (in addition to the whole post actually):

You can save all your wishes and words and everything to the day your kids are old enough to reject having you for a father. And no, I will NOT be the one telling them all about you; in fact, your behavior and actions are crystal clear even to the 2 year old who will lose that memory of yours in time, and to the 6 month old who has no memory of you to start with

There is a lot more I would say, but “kel el ahadeeth ma betfeed”… and that’s the only phrase that applies from that song.


الشنكوتي الكبير said...

I didn't know that "Ta3a " still in our low
I thought after the "Khol3" Low
they would naturaly stops all the old Low considering Family

If a couble decided they can't go on together
they should be separated even if the husband is playing some games trying to hold things dowen for a while

my dear don't be upset he started with petray what did you ecpect him to end with

I'm sorry for your loss
but I'm sure that tomorow is waiting with a better life

have a good luck wishes from me instade of his damned one


Ma-3lina said...

Dunn know what to say really. He is getting into my nerves... Government's schools nd ta3a!!!

I don't think that he can't afford private schools so he is just teasing u regardless the outcome on his children !!

Rabna m3aki we ysberak :))

NileGirl said...

I've been through something like this and he didn't turn around until his friends lectured him about it. He got slightly better but is still a very small part of their lives. I guess when certain men feel anger towards us they take it out on the children as well. Divorce makes them angry about everything so that even their kids aren't immune. Or maybe some of them think that they can use them to get back at us?

I'm sure you can easily get over his insensitivity (to put it very lightly) but my heart goes out to the kids who (ya reet they just lost a father) fare worse than that by having one who clearly doesn't care about them like he should. That sort of thing causes 3o'ad fil 3iyal... ya rabby. Men that neglect their kids after divorce disgust me.

insomniac said...

Shankooty... ta3a still exists, but it's more of a method for '7ar2 damm' rather than applicable... he's good at that!!

don't be sorry for my loss, ana mamatleesh mayet, i never had anything worth losing apparently :)
thanks tho!

ma-3alina... getting on ur nerves!! ana my nerves rawa7et aslan :)

and of course he can afford private schools, but why make life easy, and why be civil! we kaman ahoh beywaffar, he knows with or without him the kids will have a good lifestyle!! we kaman eh ya ma 3alina, da gayebly shoghl ya sheikha!! kattar kheero #@*%*$#*

NG, it's just... i never expected him to act that way!! but i should have seen it coming with the way he's been acting the past 2 years!! and my friend tells me it's only natural he has no passion for the kids whatsoever since he never really took the time bonding or anything...

honestly, this is what still gets to me, i mean how he has no regard for the kids!! this makes me HATE him and secretly wish they would hate his guts as well, which i am sure they will if he keeps up the sick behavior

and oh oh, he doesn't have friends who r good enough to lecture him... his family are as twisted, i actually thought i got the best of them when we got married *insert arfan sarcastic smiley*...

haaaah, like an old old friend used to say "rabina yakhodhom kolohom".. all the bad ppl that is :)

hurricane_x said...

He's ruining everything!!
I dunno why don't we just walk away in a civilized manner when we feel rejected or when there's some kind of a lost cause!

insomniac said...

he ruined everything!! and to him walking away is weakness, especially when he's given the impression that i won