April 30, 2009

Therapy Reflections


I was filling an application orally; I instinctively said “divorced” when asked about my marital status! El farag men 3andak YA RABBBB

While asking me to fill the rest of the application, the doctor couldn’t contain the surprise when he knew I was a mother of two; he said I was too young. It felt great to hear that. I said I was old enough to be a mother of two, he re-checked my birth date and insisted that I was young. I never think I look young but I just love hearing it! (I have issues that way)

The session was painful, to both my body and my mind. I never had that kind of therapy before and I didn’t really know what to expect. I didn’t acknowledge any of the physical pain I was feeling because I was trying to process whether it’s normal and expected to feel that way, or was it because I was sick, or was I just being a sissy!

are you ok in there?” he asked, he was certain I was in pain

no, it kinda hurts” I said, then I paused to reluctantly add “awy!!

I don’t know… I sensed relief in his tone as I showed him where I was hurting, as if he thought it was strange that I didn’t scream in pain as expected. I didn’t want to scream in pain, I felt it, I screamed so loud in my head, but I contained it. I think my stubbornness to acknowledge the pain (as my friend refers to it) made him push harder.

He said my body was too weak, that particular area that hurt.

I don’t know, call me vain, but I always considered myself physically strong. I was brought up like a guy; my dad would sort of wrestle, and he used to have me carry my own luggage and help him with his as well as everyone else’s whenever we traveled.

Being told my body was too weak, I was reminded of the other two times I felt inadequate that way, the other two times when I felt my body failed me… pregnancy and labor. I was instantly reminded of my helplessness during the end of my pregnancy, and my crying in the hospital bed because I hated the pain and I hated having to feel it.

relax, don’t resist and don’t help, just let go and relax

I laughed… if only it were up tom me!

16 comments:

Ice Queer said...

Exactement! Let go and relax.

Ice Queer said...

Forgot 2 wish u patience with rest of sessions =)

insomniac said...

i obviously have serious issues doing that!! and the one person who could have fixed that is no longer there... touche ;-/

i lack persistence and patience... i am giving those sessions 2-3 more times max, and knowing me i will get too lazy once the pain starts fading, typical gemini!!

thanks tho :)))

Anonymous said...

Dear Inso ,

What is this kind of therapy??? i don't understand, it seemed like a physical one...r u ok??

R

insomniac said...

yep, it is physiotherapy, God i feel old just for saying that!!!

i have backaches that turned out to be a little bit hard to fix despite how supposedly minor they are!

i hope it's over soon tho

Ice Queer said...

Lol I study physiotherapy =D

insomniac said...

WOW

tell me when you're certified!

Ice Queer said...

Hehe btw u SHOULD NOT stop therapy, i know it is common mistake by all physiotherapy patients but you should continue cuz it will get complicated and chronic if u stopped...therapy effect doesn't appear quickly(and that's y lots of patients quit) and also complications don't appear quickly(and that's y lots of patients come back years later when it's too late lol)!

Bottom line; continue therapy even if u don't feel major difference, better than quitting and seeking surgical operation years later(depends on ur case thu).
Hehe and even after operation u'll be obligated 2 go thru post-operative physiotherapy and rehab. lol

la mafar mel akher =P

insomniac said...

darn!

u just told me what i already knew and tried to pretend like i didn't!!!

i am the worst patient ever because i usually understand my case but i never follow up with the treatment or medication, it's a wonder i survived pregnancy with my caffeine abuse and unhealthy life style, it's a miracle actually that my kids are ok alhamdulilah!

anyways, i'll try to keep your advice in mind, thanks :)

Ice Queer said...

Not only keep it in ur mind but APPLY it!
Enti malkeesh kebeer akallemmo? =P lol

begad i've seen lots of severe cases in hospitals that would creep the hell out of u so 7aram ya3ni, el mawdoo3 fi eidek =)
r u diabetic btw? I know that u r hyper tensive, so u can use exercises in ur favor 2 enhance ur blood pressure(da if exercise is part of treatment prog of ur case) =))

I guess I got medically emotional and dramatic, sorry couldnt help the Dr me lol

Anonymous said...

Alf slama 3leky :)(F)

if you couldn't do it for yourself so do it for your kids at least, if you're in a good shape , your kids will be much happier and you'll be doing all the acitivities together :))) , but of course you should do it for yourself 3shan the complications like u've been adviced...you're stubborn , use ur stubborness in a positive way like taking care of your health ;)

R

Ice Queer said...

Yes I want more encouraging comments like R's =D
Thank u R =)

silent observer said...

hehhe the comments made me laugh. Don't know why.
and also...there's nothing old about physiotherapy

insomniac said...

IQ,

LOL...

i am not diabetic, and although i have a history of hypertension during both pregnancies, my BP always jumps from extreme lows to extreme highs, but i tend to rather be hypotensive!

my exercise is basically "activating" some muscles, no efforts required at that point because i have lumbar disc.

lol, i love medical drama!!


R dearest,

thanks hun, i am treating my case with that kind of stubbornness actually!! i had my second session today and it hurt much less and although i have not yet recovered (i have like 10 more sessions to go), the therapist said there seemed to be an improvement :)

i just hope i remain that serious about it....


Silent observer :))))

the comments made me laugh too
well, physiotherapy is basically someone moving your body in certain ways because you're in too much pain to do it yourself, it kind of resembles what getting old is like; having someone to do for you the things you can't do yourself! it could have to do with me being healthier when i was younger and approaching the 30s in a couple of years! yes, i fear growing older!

Abdelsalam Rashad said...

Get well soon...

insomniac said...

thank you abdelsalam :))