May 3, 2009

The obscene post…, aw bema3na assa7, el post el abee7!


This is the first post I ever write with the intent of being obscene. Usually, people who know me say I sound funny when I curse, and they have seen first hand how I can’t contain laughter when people start using language in front of me. My sisters on the other hand are more used to my aba7a and it sort of offends them when I am angry and cursing, this is one of those times!

And here is why...

I drive be adab and I got 1160 EGP mokhalfat, while everyone I know who does all sort of mokhalfat got less than 50 EGP!!!! Mesh moshkela, zeka 3an se7ety el kharbana….


Laken da keteer…

Ya3ne ya welad el *teeeeet* I lived in maadi all my f***in’ life, even school and college were in maadi, even my first years of marriage were in maadi, I only moved out of it for the worst three years of my marriage!!!

You do not even know which moroor I belong to with my zamalek address, some say 3ataba and some say boulaq… we sanya wa7da ba2a, eh elly gab el zamalek le esm asr el neel le boulaq wala el 3ataba ya bahayem ya welad el bahayem!!!

We ghayartelko om el zeft el 3addad we ba2aly esboo3 mesh baroo7 el zeft el shoghl because I am pre-occupied with all the shit in my life on top of which my almost expired car registration! And I actually went with my smiling decent attitude despite how exhausted i was, only to be told I should use that document to change my ID address to Maadi, i got over my embarrassment and explained that I can’t change my ID back to maadi because there is a zeft ongoing divorce case for the last two years and that ba2aly sanateen back in my original residence!!!!!!!

And ok, I get that there are rules and order and that they’re there for a reason, bas seriously ba2a, *TEEEEEEEEEEET*, the f***in’ rules only apply on people like me who respect them, but those who ignore and defy them get away with it!!!!

The x, who happens to claim that he has license plates of mokhabarat (aslan the fact that such thing exists is appalling) did not know how to drive when he had his driver’s license… yeah motawaqa3 eno bel wasta, bas 3ala fekra ba2a makanetsh wasta; it was in exchange of two packs of Viagra (3ameto mowazafet wezaret el se77a el mo7tarama wakhdahom tazbeet men mandoob mabe3at Pfizer so that Pfizer would get chosen on another drug deal) and some sexual performance enhancing vitamins!!!! Which concludes that mowazafeen el moroor are basically some impotent bastards who abuse drugs!

And FYI, I did earn my friken diver’s license because my righteous dad refused to call any of his friends since he believes that people’s lives (whom I might jeopardize if I drive without knowing how) are worth a lot more than the hours I’d spend in el moroor sweating my heart out! And I f***in’ drive better than nos regallet masr awelhom el *teeet* betoo3 el moroor elly *teeet*

Asfa geddan 3al aba7a, I will probably delete this post once I read it after I calm down and feel extremely ashamed of myself!!!

19 comments:

Eventuality said...

Fein el aba7a? :D

insomniac said...

it's there, implied by the teets and the astrics!

and i wanted to say a few more words bas etkasaft!!!!

for whatever it's worth, my dad would kill me if he overheard me reading that post out loud!! ana mesh mesam7ah eno rabany!

Slop said...

Well, honestly, how could you use such obscene words.

I get shivers down my spine cause I'm not used to such abusive posts.

men fadlek balash te7'deshi 7aya2i we te7'alleeny ashouf el alfaz elli yanda laha el gabeen bel manzar dah.

ma3andekeesh e7'wat regala? :P

Evaluna said...

come on!! i've seen you curse for real... even when sometimes it's not called for... this post is mo2adaba inso! i should be proud! but then again i know that your 2aba7a is basically shown to those who reeeeally know you and that otherwise it tends to be a little shy!

this post is mo2adaba... even for me!

insomniac said...

LOL eva!!

ya benty, you know exactly which words i would choose for every teet!!! and so does rasha because i was telling her when she started laughing!so in my defense (i think) the post is abee7 alright if people are smart enough to guess the right words... actually some people might even be more creative and come up with words i don't even know, hence, my post would be even more obscene!!

and you already know i almost no longer swear, i say bad words occasionaly bas mesh aba7a!

we kaman mo2adabet eh, enty mesh shayfa en gabeen slop nadda!!! da 7aya2oh etkhadash we bey2oly maleesh ekhwat reggala!!


slop, LOL

Ma 3lina said...

I think mawdo3 Viagra dah min zaman awii asl msh me7taga 7ad min se77a 3lshan tetgab loool

Based on slop's comment, u should restrict this post to above 16 females only beside parental supervision loool

slop mai3rfsh fe logha 3arbia gheer el gabeen bs :p

Mohamed ElGohary said...

I can't control myself while driving. Several times I was cursing in the driver's face before he had the chance to apologize :D, it made my upset a little, bas whatever ba2a.

I'm more encouraged now to curse Police related drivers :D

Abdelsalam Rashad said...

Eh ya inso how could u write such post.
Eh ma3andekeesh e7'wat
Blastic?

Realy funny post..dont delete it.

Askandarani said...

Enso, tell me the truth, is their a radar on el da2ery starting from tal3et el autostrad till el bahr el azaam??????????
and the post isnt abee7, it is sensored.

insomniac said...

ya ma3alina,

la2 heya mesh me7taga 7ad men el se7a law you're willing to pay for it, but he was too cheap and his aunt was too corrupted... only to prove my point!

hahaa, ana haseblek mawdoo3 el rating beta3 el post enty we slop, ana shayfa en 7essoko el akhlaqy 3aly :)


Gohary,

there was a time i used to swear while driving all the time, it's how i learned aslan!

and i feel tempted to spit on zobbat el moroor, but i am not really sure i can get away with it!


Abdelsalam,

blastic?!!

haha, mesh hamsa7o, bafakar atakhasas sheteema we asebny mel nakad elly 3amlah!


Askandarani,

i am not sure but i don't think there's a radar there, or it's not always there perhaps!

i do know the ones 3ala taree2 masr alex tho!

as for the post, it's left to the reader's imagination; you must have a pretty decent one ;)

The Caller said...

La2 Ya Inso, la spitting, wala 7ata tbossy l2ay zabet...ana mesh na2sa allah yebareklek ya sheikha lol ;)

insomniac said...

hehehe, omal enty fekrek ana leeh khayfa, mana 3ashan 3andy fekra momken ye7ssally eh law fakart a3mel elly nefsy feeh!!

and it makes me even angrier that i am scared of shitty cowards who can't even do it without viagra!!!

مياسي said...

shu hal aba7ah el mshafarah hai?

insomniac said...

i trust that you can uncode it :)

Sou-One-Canobee said...

Daa obscene Ya Insomniac U did not see my obscene
Sloppy:
enta hatmaseel.. Yandaa el gabeen eih we beta3 eih.. mesh ley2

Slop said...

Sou,

Enti 3arfany 7'agoul be tab3y we baste7y

Sou-One-Canobee said...

Mmmmm, 7'agoul be tab3k we baste7y haaa that is why you made the CFO obscene after being a a guy who regularly goes to the mosque and make your manager find Sexual interpretation in every sentence after he used to blush when a female talks to him. la2 fe2lan 7'agoul

Slop said...

I only show them the path to freedom, they may continue on the route, but it's their choice.

insomniac said...

Sou

walahy 7awelt...

and yeah Slop is a very shy guy! in his own obscene way i assume ;)


Slop,

you're a gifted person, you help people identify and cultivate their perceptions...