November 29, 2008

I’m growing up!

My x called today. It was his first call since his aunt visited on Wednesday. She has noticed how I kept asking Beem about random words and their meaning in French as he talked; my own way of helping him practice what he learns at the nursery. She asked if I planned to put him in French schooling and I said it was my first option. She paused for a while and said “would you please involve their father in the process; he has financial obligations to which he should attend”. I nodded and that was the end of that conversation.

Today he called to say so many incoherent nonsense, most of which discussing his own perception of people who go through French schooling. According to him, they are fed too much culture, which in turn affects their perception of life, making them unable to deal with life from a practical point of view. He believes men his age who had received French education lack the macho factor and are rather nerdy with a touch of “nadala”! He is convinced that French education would limit my kids’ options upon graduation to “guys who speak fluent French but know nothing more about their jobs”!

For thirty whole minutes, I endured his shallow, arrogant, and condescending crap about men and women of our age category who happened to receive French education! For thirty whole minutes, all I wanted to tell him was that his skewed and distorted perceptions do not by any chance validate his weak theories. I wanted to tell him that if all the men and women he knows and judges so harshly are truly as bad as he described, then the one more thing they have in common other than their education would be him! I wanted to tell him that he’s not a better example to judge others, that his “athletic body” and “good looks” mean nothing at all when compared to his shallow personality and pseudo intellect that he uses to come off as a sophisticate!

Months ago, I would have gotten very angry and started yelling to the extent that I would have probably cried! Today, I just got upset, and I managed to change the mood by calling a friend of mine and laughing it off with her! Later, I talked to another friend about my fears of messing up my kids’ lives by not wanting them to be like their dad to the extent that I would turn them into an unhealthy extreme. Now, as I started writing this post, I was planning to write down the conversation and how it went, but to my surprise, I couldn’t even remember most of his exact words that got on my nerves!

Looks like I have finally learnt how to block the useless and unnecessary things that negatively alter my mood! All I remember of those thirty minutes is that he did not make sense and that his logic kept contradicting with itself making it rather funny to hear him babble on until I finally lost interest! Who knew!!!


rasha said...

I can't remember exactly if I've told you this before yet I'm telling again anyway :P
One day while I was at work monhameka as usual fee argument overseas with the mighty trash can called Dubai, I received a phone call from my mom...she didn't say hello wala ezzayek...she was screaming at me words I couldn't understand...all and all it was blames and threats...later I gathered that It was about my little, I was stunned as usually he doesn't do what could make her go bezurk this, here's what freaked her out, noting that she is a lady of education and high intellectual maintenance...My son, My dear son refused to do his homework...el sett her ythat is the ultimate bawazan in the world...the boy said: elmadrasa mesh mohem...ana 3ayez aroo7 elmasged...PaPa 2ally aham 7aga nroo7 elganna oo neshtaghal fel deen laken elmafrood nekrah eldonia.
Hassan the cute pie...8 years old...innocent intelligent boy...was messed up in the head by his witty ganna Dad.
Mom was blaming me for letting him mingle with the kids...she thinks he would ruin what we build.
tab3an, It took me two long conversations with Hassan that involved lots of HARD questions to convince him that he has misunderstood his dad...couldn't asa7a7 demagh elwalad fe 7aga and ruin the claimed father figure.

now, e7em, i know enny point was, I, too, fear daddy's weired influence yet I take full responsibility because i had made the unsuitable choice...and I have to walk the wire to balance the kids' characters...I too, have had fears that I would go to the extreme 3ashan khayfa men ta2seer aboohom aw et3a2adt men ede3a2at deneya motashadeda...bas, batamenek...mogarad enek khayfa men keda da ma3nah enek aware and awareness is all we need to attain a proper raising and educating.
Inso, you're a great Mom..
et, Madame, C'est la 1'ere fois je partager ma maternité stories with a blogger ya3ni :D
oo da adghath a7lam what i once knew of the french language :D
bas khalas ;)

rasha said...

and, law sama7ty shooma oo teegy tedrabeeny 3ala rasy yemken anam...i have to wake up at 7 grrrrrrr

Anonymous said...

Hello Inso :)

I don't know..but I think your ex didn't have a point except to oppose to your way of raising the kids and ignoring his role as a there he was trying to prove it :D..and i think the idea might actually appeals to him but his ego pushed it.

Good for you Inso, i think now he's an open book to you , he can't get to you anymore by his twisted ways..just 7'odeh 3la ad
3a2lo ;)


insomniac said...

rasha :)

no u never told me that story before :)

within the same context, i should worry about my x teaching the boys how to hook up with girls and how to be playa's! not to mention how he'd go nuts over them studying!!! yeah he was a weird combination of a nerd and a playboy!!!

but rasha, eh saddet el nefs de! i eman leh te2ooly ur paying because you made the wrong choice, howa e7na hano3od ne pay keteeer!!! ana a3tared!!

anywhoo, ya rab our awareness de tekoon kefaya enena man3okesh :))

we balash e7rag fe mawdoo3 el french da ;)

we btw, ana bafakar atnazellek 3an laqab insomniac!!! unless of course you've already slept :D


actually, we've always had that argument since i got pregnant, but i never provoked him into trying to make a point simply because i always thought it was too soon to make an issue out of it :)

i know he has strong prejudices against french education even though her dad had quite an obsession with the french langua! or perhaps that's why... i always thought i would talk him into it using his dad and how it would have made him happy bla bla bla... funny how things turn out in the end :) he doesn't really plan on opposing me, he's just expressing himself thinking i would be interested to listen...

he's not really an open book to me... i will always fail to fully understand such weird mentalities, but you're right, it's easier to let them be rather than try to understand...

jessyz said...

Have you considered German schooling? You get the benefit of the languages and a supposedly better system.

insomniac said...

although i do not plan on stdying with my kids and rather think it's better for them to learn rom the very beggining to be independent... german would make a huge language barrier between us, while french is a language i am familiar with and i tend to work on it from time to time....

Eventuality said...

Shatra ya Inso :)

And I agree, you're a wonderful mother.

The.I.inside said...

well, you might have grown and you might just got too much of his BS that it doesn't get through anymore. both ways good for you.
I think fearing to make your kids the complete opposite of their father, is a healthy fear, if you kept that in front of you i think you'll never do it,
Good luck

insomniac said...


thanks a lot dear, it means a lot to me :))))


i think that the fact that his BS does not get to me anymore means i have grown!! i mean there was a time i would still get upset even when i knew it was another attempt from him to get to me!!

let's hope that fear remains a healthy thing...

batates_777 said...

Girl ...I loved that post too !!
all luck for you and your son ..I encourage the french schooling by the way , and All the freench educated ppl I ever dealt with , they were professional , successful , way good examples in all ! they hv it both , fluent in english and french ! so they hv more chances in life more than english speaking ones !
Really ,it is only a few who hv that touch of nadala ! which everybody has anyway regardless to his education !

insomniac said...

almost my exact thoughts regarding french schooling...