November 22, 2008

On hope…

Hope is a dangerous thing; hope can drive a man insane” Red (Morgan Freeman), The Shawshank Redemption

I believe hope is a good thing; it helps us get by in our darkest hours. Nonetheless, I can see how the above quote can make sense; you see, of all the things that can have a negative impact on a man’s life, hope can top them all because hope in its essence is a good thing. It justifies making decisions perhaps we shouldn’t be making, or believing in things that have previously gotten us disappointed.

They say stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results; sometimes hope is our motivation to do the same thing one more time thinking the result would be more favorable this time, making us more vulnerable to disappointment. Hope is the honey that hides the taste of poison but fails to hide its lethal effect, disappointment and regret.

I am a person who lives by hope. Hope for a better day, hope for better things coming my way. I find my own ways of holding on to whatever hope there is no matter how crappy things seem to be; it’s somewhat my bliss, or perhaps my curse!

I’m afraid I am knowingly taking my own sip of what could be poisoned honey just because I don’t want to allow my doubts and my previous disappointments to get the best of me. I don’t want to give up on my hope and wonder “what if?”... I tell myself it’s ok to have hope even if it turns out to be false, because at least I am quite aware of the possible disappointment, and somewhat ready for it if it takes place.

Does disappointment count when we anticipate it? Does it hurt as much when we know it’s more likely to happen?

Is it stupid to have a hope that had previously led to a disappointment? Or is it simply hopeful?

I guess I should find out on my own even if I end up feeling like an idiot afterwards.


gjoe said...

Ana ba7ebbek awy ya Inso!

Begad I do!!

insomniac said...

ya gjoe el el 2oloob 3and ba3deeha :)

bas howa ana 2olt eh yestahel el 3awatef de kolaha?!

Only Love said...

Hi Insomniac
maybe this is the first time for me to comment on your posts but when I read this post it pushed me for two reasons:
1) you are really a nice person and this hope and faith will help you to reach your goals isa and you deserve to be loved as gjoe said :)
2) as I love hope and it helps me to carry on with this life and I have to admit that with this hope I achieved alot of my goals but I also hate it coz hope sometimes turns to an endless illusion, kelmet (YEMKN) dy tewady fy dahya, you may wait for years and years for things will never happen but bcoz you are hoping you wait and then the sad end.
so HOPE is a double edged weapon, as it gives you happiness it also brings sadness.
good luck in your life Inso and may all your dreams and wishes come true isa :)

insomniac said...

only love,

thanks for commenting and for your nice words.

well, when it comes to hope, i know how to control when i should let go of it... and when it comes to that particular thing i had in mind while writing this post, i know where exactly my hope ends and i am sure as hell i can take it... it's just the feeling that hope could go wasted that could make me feel a bit stupid, but again, i would feel even more stupid if i live wondering! it's easier to move on when you know you've done your best...

H said...

ur post really touched me awi as if u r talking abt me. But let me ask you how could you control your hope ... i stayed for 8 years on a hope neither it becomes true nor i could let it go :(((((((( I'm still waiting for my hope 2 come true.

insomniac said...


i guess it's a good thing my post touched you that way, i'm flattered :)

i think being able to control hope and sometimes let go of it has more to do with my personality.... i have short attention span and i have too much pride and ego when it comes to wanting things i can't have, i just let them go because in my own head, i think i deserve to have the things i want, and not having them must mean i shouldn't even bother.... i am not a sane person by the way :)))