Someone has hurt her… really scarred her. For some reason, she would never tell me, and for the very same reason, I would never ask!
I tried to get closer, tell her stories that could help her with whatever she’s struggling to accept, even show her some of my scars to let her know that we all have those, but her response even scared me more.
I am left with too much confusion; I don’t know if I should pretend like I have no idea whatsoever, which I don’t, or give her special treatment that would not hurt her vulnerability.
Sometimes she gets on my nerves and I want to yell at her, but I try to hold back because I am afraid she’s too brittle to the extent that a thoughtless word would break her.
I hold back, not just because I cherish her dearly, but also because sometimes I wish people would do the same with me.
Back to her, I don’t think I want to know what happened, unless she wants to tell. All I want is to know she’s back on her feet and that her scar won’t hurt if people pour salt on it, because truth is, they will.
And to whoever or whatever caused her that much pain, I say: “HOW COULD YOU, she definitely did not deserve that!! She was in a place much better than I have ever been”. It boggles my mind because when my life fell to pieces I knew I was to blame for the mistakes I realize I’ve done along the way, but her; she was really pure! She has always been the better one.
Bottom line: I look at her, and I feel life is sad and unfair to some people. I look at her and think that sometimes people have to take what they can’t handle, and she definitely couldn’t handle whatever it is she took. I remember that nightmare I had of her almost three years ago that made me wake up screaming, and I feel this strong pain in my heart all over again.