I no longer wanna sit in my room crying silently until I am somewhat tired and sleepy.
This is a time when I hate being too much of the strong willed optimist I keep telling myself I am to just fall apart and have my own nervous breakdown.
There was a time I thought hysteria and depression could help, now every time I am about to hit either, I hear that voice at the back of my head reminding me how it only made things worse for me.
To sum things up, I wish I could just break down and cry and get the right response for once. I don’t know what it is, but it definitely isn’t a pat on the shoulder, a cry along or a cheap “I know how you feel”. I miss D, I really do. and somehow it feels my nana died all over again, and I lost touch with K all over again.
October 13, 2007
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4 comments:
do u know something ...ur point of view might be right if u reached to that stage in which u cant smile again or feel happiness ever again ..onlu suffer and pain ..
..
but i guess if u concluded that life doesnt worth one tear ..or a moment of pain and sorrow ,then u will see the world from a different view ...
...
keep on ..
oceaeyes, i am an optimist no matter how dark i may get, so i refuse to believe that pain and suffering last.
and i beg to differ, a life that is not worth a tear is not worth living!! when we cry it's because we care enough to the extent of being hurt and overwhelmed...
thanks for visiting :)
I don't think that crying is that much better than being an optimist..
I think I cry way too easily.. and that sucks. Sometimes I wish that I could just not cry..
Anyway, crying does mean you cared enough to put yourself out there adn to mkae yourself vulnerable enough to be hurt. I also think that no matter how long pain and hurt stick around.. they're bound to leave sometime.
I hope you feel better...
i think i cry a lot these days, i just wish i would let it all out once and for all... things is, i keep seeing the good things and i start building up hopes that the shit will go away soon, and well, it doesn't!
i know it will all go away, i just can't wait, and i am tired...
thank you for your kind words Nora, hey how r things with u? will stop by and check :)
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