Who am I?

“Who are you? By far, I’ve seen five different yous: 1) the adorable little girl who put nothing in the world above me, and who used to lie there in my arms making me feel the strongest man on earth, 2) the strong, mad, and unpredictable young woman who would insist on her opinion and stick to her ethics and values even if it backfires on her, 3) the annoying wife who would do every text book mistake that would lead to the destruction of her marriage, 4) the heartbroken wife and mother who fell apart, shut the whole world away and surrendered to depression (whom I know I was responsible for), and 5) the heartless fierce woman who would do whatever it takes to return the harm I inflicted on her with no regard to the history we shared (whom I also know I was responsible for). Right now, I have no idea who you are, you’re none of those!! And I can’t really tell who you are!”

You don’t know me, you didn’t even know me quite that well and my guess is you never will!!

I was once that girl for you, and that was the time you loved me the way you say you still do, you projected my love and returned it doubled and sometimes even tripled...

That strong opinionated young woman has always been who I am only we never argued until we started having different perceptions...

That wife, she loved you but she had completely lost faith in you and in everything else, which made her lose her way even more...

That heartbroken wife and mother was the result of some serious emotional abuse and let’s just stop there...

As for that heartless woman, she is who I will be if you ever consider harming me any further or harming my kids or my family.


As for who I am right now, I am a person who had found my faith in all the good that I can no longer see but somehow believe is there...

I am the person who had somehow found it in me to let go of all the anger and promised I would keep things civil as long as you keep it that way...

I am the person who held back the tears when she called to apologize and could somehow pretend like I was never hurt to begin with...

I am the person who realized that although it was alright to be that weak defenseless girl who was madly in love; however, my mistake was falling for you instead of someone who would know how appreciate and cherish that love...

I am the person who will find it in me to forgive you and her, but firstly forgive myself for letting you drag me into her darkest hours...

I am simply a person whom you can never understand, let alone fall in love with for I will always catch your bluff and you will never ever be able to feel superior anymore.


At some point personality number two would have taken the time to tell you all that, but the new me would just smile, take a deep breath and ask you when I can come pick up my things.
Don’t you just get it? The spell has been broken and my heart is free, even from hating you. Be the man I once though you were and let me go, and I promise you this will be the best thing you’ve ever done to me.