December 10, 2009


My phone rings, an unfamiliar number…

Me: Allo
Female Voice: Alo, salamo alaykom, telephone Madam (ana)
Me: Aywa, ana (me), meen ma3aya…
Her: ana (can’t remember her name aslan) men maktab bostet el zamalek…
Me: ahlan wasahlan… *waiting for her to say what she wants of me, I had no clue what a post office employee would want of me!!!*
Her: howa geh le7adretek 7ewala bareedeya be nafaqa mosta7aqa men abu el welad
Me: *rather alarmed at the mention of the x*, ah, azon keda, khelal el esboo3 elly fat…
Her: we mageteesh estalamteeha leh??
Me: *huh, since when do they check if post payments are cashed by phone* umm, asl… mama estalametha we heya ma3aha tawkeel, fa momken 3ala yoom el sabt *surprisingly, I was being as honest as can be, I knew mama received the notification but I didn’t know how the procedure went and I never asked mama for the money, they go to the boys account*
Her: la mesh moshkela ana aslant agaza ennaharda, ana kont 3ayza bas akallemek 3ashan ashoofek yoom ma testelmeeha
Me: *sort of alarmed!* na3am!
Her: asl ana 3ayza atkallem ma3aki washoof eza kan momken nessala7 el denya… *then she paused waiting for a reaction from me*
Me: *both startled and offended* AFANDEM!!!
Her: na3am? *she obviously didn’t get that I was objecting*
Me: afandem!!! *I obviously couldn’t find any other polite word to express my dismay without subjecting her to my ultimate rudeness*
Her: esma7eely, ana set kebeer, 3andy 7aga w 50, ya3ne fe ma2am mamtek (did she just lose even more points??) we 3arfa ad eh el denya sa3ba, ana 3andy 5 welad… we lama shoft el ostaz (the x), we 3ereft eno mettala2 fel senn da (he looks younger than his age according to some, and so do I!) sa2alto 3ando welad walla la2, we 3eeno damma3et we howa bey2ool asameehom… fa oltelo yedeeny nemretek 3ashan akallemek we neshoof ezay momken nerraga3 el osra…
Me: (TEEET) ma3lesh 7adretek, 7adretek abelty wa7ed mate3rafehoosh, wetkalemty ma3ah 3ala wa7da mate3rafehash; 7adretik shofty ganeb wa7ed we seme3ty na7ya wa7da, wana ma3andeesh este3dad a7ky mawdoo3 et2afal le7ad ghareeb lemogarrad eno 3eenoh damma3et!
Her: *baffled* ya habibty ana batkallem le masla7tek, enty akeed soghayara we weladek me7tageenek enty we babahom ma3ahom…
Me: *getting really agitated we eh "habibty" de!!* ma3lesh, ana me2adara sho3oor 7adretik, bas ana asfa geddan, el kalam fel mawdoo3 da entaha we ostaz (the x) 3aref entaha ezzay w leeh, we mayenfa3sh yet7al be mokalmet telephone… ana beggad asfa le ta3ab 7adretik (bent nas ana awy)
Her: *really embarrassed* la ya habibty wala yehemmek, salamo 3aleiko
Me: 3aleikom al salam *and I hung up*

Ok, again *teet*!!!!

I mean is he dense?? We’re divorced; he is still in the place where he thinks we can reconcile and “nerga3 le ba3d”!!!! Moreover, he was not the one who had granted me the divorce, I had it through court, and appeal; I whined and cried on this blog for two years before I got my freedom!!!! And all he can do is make a stranger call me!!!

Not that it matters, but it’s so freakin’ demeaning!!!!

We kaman, el "osool" bet2ool en the right thing to do is for him to come in person, talk to my dad, show all signs of remorse and willingness to fix all things granting all the crazy requests which he should acknowledge our rights to!! I mean that’s what I hear is manly according to this sick twisted society, mesh wa7da ma3rafhash tekalemny tebaketny 3ala welady… eh el *teet* da!!

I am sort of glad though he’s not that kind of “reformed” to behave that way because I still don’t want to have anything to do with him aside from the boys. I just don’t get it!! What kind of a person thinks that’s a way to fix a marriage, la2, to remake a marriage; there is nothing to fix!!

And what kind of woman would think that another woman would want any man back after she got her divorce through court!! I hate those women who think women can’t do without their ex-husbands just because they have kids; they weaken our perceptions and self worth and make shitless assholes think they can dominate us – and no, this is not the feminist in me talking, I am just angry a person thinks all my pain and humiliation are worth no more than a silly phone call! I hate how my strong opinion will be taken as “batar” according to Egyptian society terms… 7aga tesed el nefs 3al sob7!!


Anonymous said...


hamm yda7ak w hamm ybakky!!!

that's the strangest thing I've ever heard!


insomniac said...

i am glad you find it strange... at least it means leya 7a2 atnarvez!!

Amira AK said...

tab3an leeki ha2 tetnarfezy.. i'm surprised you acted to way you did.. bent nas awey fe3lan!! (well, i probably would have acted the same way, but deep down inside me i would say "*teet*, *teet*, *teet*" meet marra!!!!
maalesh ya inso.. it seems that some things in this society will never change!

insomniac said...

aywa, heya *teet teet teet* de!!

yeah i am losing hope in any positive change!

helperF1 said...

very embarrassing situation but me here complete stranger reading about all this though.
but you're absolutely right, you just don't walk into someone whine about your ex partner and and ask her to fix it for you.
Also 3addaki el 3aib about how it should be done according to el osool.

last thing, I don't really feel comfortable with your use of the word freedom. So my parents are happily married el7amdolellah , does this mean that my mom freedom is compromised ?

insomniac said...

my choice of the word "freedom" is well justified... you see, it has nothing to do with being a mommy as i AM still my children's mom... it has to do with no longer being the x's wife; we're talking about a man who would not let me go and chose to humiliate me until i filed for a divorce case through court, so yes
"freedom" is the right word when i speak of the marriage...

aaaand, you said your folks are happily married, so yes, no one's freedom is compromised :))) God bless them :)

Abdelsalam Rashad said...

Amazing how people can think and things like that!! We are in the 21st century and still those people exist..
That's so sick and strange..

chaimaa said...

it's so hard here whether ur divorced or u r single :(((
they always talk about men and marriage as it's the most important thing and u r never complete if u r not wearing the ring in ur left hand , even if it 's out of ur hands ...

insomniac said...


i don't think the 21 century is capable of changing such people :)

and i think some of them believe they should be handed medals for doing such good!!!


i think it's one of the worst mistakes in our society... people mistake "the importance of men" for "importance of family", they don't get that one of the things the latter take is good men, definitely not the whiners who go cry to strangers!!

Sara said...

omg! bgd ya sabrek .. i think if i were u i would have said things that i can never imagine !

plus did she really think she actually can fix it? i mean at least when someone try to fix a problem he/she should consider multiple parameters to solve it, like your character maslan and the X's character and all the things that went wrong .. how was she planning to solve it :D ?!!!

anyways .. rabena ysabrna 3ala such type of people ..

insomniac said...

exactly!! what kind of fixing can she possibly offer, to a couple who already got divorced and i am sure he mentioned, THROUGH COURT!!!

ya3ne embare7, another friend of the family was asking if there was anything she could do to "fix things" and i laughed and told her "elly yettala2 bel ma7kama yeb2a ahbal law rege3"; i mean things got ugly once, it's just more than enough bad experience per life time, thank you very much...

but at least tant asked, and she knows me well, and she was genuinely concerned seeing how my kids were banging on my headachy head and i was too tired from all the disciplining!!