I can’t write!! I have two failed attempts on my task bar that I am definitely deleting if I happen to post this one!
I am too tense, I am worried, and I am scared. Personally, I think it’s futile to feel this way; I believe all the things my friends keep telling me and I already know them… I know that THIS should only take the time it’s meant to take, and I know that what will happen will happen, and that truth is on my side. I know, I promise!
But how can I stop myself from feeling that way?! I don’t wanna worry or feel tense and scared, I really don’t, yet my hands and feet are cold and I have goose pumps all over my arms and legs, I am so jittery, and I am constantly feeling like I am going to lose my temper and snap!!
I called one of my funny friends hoping a few jokes would distract me. She knows; she kept asking about updates and as I told her, my voice started trembling and I cried. She gave me a long lecture on how I should be calm and how I should keep my act together when in court and all that. I told her it’s what I do but I am tired and I am afraid. That was when she asked “khayfa men eh ya3ne? mafeesh 7aga tehawef, en matala2teesh delwa2ty hatetala2y kaman showaya, enty mesh 3arfa enty 3ayza eh, khayfa leeh?”
She’s right, but it doesn’t seem to help! I feel pathetic that way, and now I can’t even write about it because it’s too intense!!
اللهم اجرني في مصيبتي و اخلف لي خيرا منها