June 16, 2008

For the time being…


I never really knew where I wanted to be…
I never really knew who I was,
And I never really knew what I wanted!

I always thought it was enough to know where I did not want to be…
I found peace in knowing what I was not,
And I was convinced about the things I did not want!

Apparently, that was not always the best approach!!

Turns out, I spent too much time avoiding where I did not want to go, instead of going places…
I realized that knowing what I was not, didn't define who I was,
And it hit me that I missed some good things just because I didn’t know I wanted them!

Too many ups and even more downs, yet I am still baffled!
However, in a very brief moment of clarity, it hit me…

For the time being, I know where I am…
For the time being, I know what I want!!
At least for the time being, and perhaps for a limited period of time!

I have an outline of who I am, but I am still trying to figure that out…
It’s taking some time, but I am ok with it;
Because once I know who I am,
I will be able to know where I want to be and what I want when things change

All I am asking for is more of that peace,

And more signs to let me know I am on the right path…
At least, for the time being!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Weird.

I was talking just yesterday with a friend of mine whose point of view was that people are trained to want what they want....that we're entrapped....and the moment we realize that, just wanting to get out of the trap reinforces the trap

:D

Did that make any sense?

insomniac said...

it kinda made sense; however, does that by any chance mean that knowing what you don't want still entraps you in a limited circle!!

tab eh? you should not know either what you want or what you don't want!! you should let me know right now, ana momken azzabat, el yoomeen dool i am being all perceptive ;)

Sherif said...

Insomniac

Do you play the violin?

I could notice it within your favourites ..

Are you in love ?

Sorry for curiosity

insomniac said...

Sherif,

it's funny ur asking me that when this post was not inspired by being in love!! actually if anything, it was inspired by a decision i made that was against the idea of falling in love!!

i don't play the violin lel asaf, but since i was a child, i've always been taken by its music... i am into 3ood and more oriental instruments now... but violin will always be that special to me :)

Anonymous said...

I'm as confused as you are :S

insomniac said...

ya3ne gebtak ya 3abdel mo3een!!

ok!!