June 12, 2008

The annoying post!

I don’t know the reason; it could be that it’s been a year, or the fact that my clueless colleagues keep suggesting we arrange for family outings with our spouses and kids since it’s summer, or it could simply be my anticipation over the whole court proceedings, but I have been remembering some annoying things said and done by him that cross my mind causing me to get angry until I just smile hysterically and think to myself “what goes around comes around, I just hope he gets it tripled!!

So I am sorry dear blog readers, I don’t mean to get on your nerves, I just need to let them out so they do not take the much needed space in my head… feel free to skip; however, if you’re too curious, feel free to leave a comment saying what jerk he is… it always makes me smile :)

On my last birthday, this was his gift… I was still at my parents’ recovering from child birth; I was the one who drove all the way to Zamalek to pick him up so that he can come spend the night with us in Maadi! This is how it went…

  • Him (all smilingly and lovingly): Thank you habibty for the gift, I’m the one who should get you something… but how did you know my right size after all the weight loss?
    Me (thinking WHAT NOW): HUH??!!
    Him (in a suspecting tone): enty mesh geety men showaya we tala3teely 7aga ma3 el bawab? Enty konty ma3aky meen, enty olteely on the phone e7na 3and semiramis??
    Me: mesh fahma!! I just came right after I called, beem is the one with me in the car since I left home!! I did not drop anything for you and I simply have not seen el bawab!!
    Him (in a tone that spells trouble): la maho mesh wa7ed mel bawabeen elly te3rafeehom, wa7ed beyeb2a mawgood from time to time… he said el madam gat we sabetlak da
    Me (ana 3arfa eno yoom edwed): eh da?
    Him: This t-shirt I’m wearing!
    Me (OH, I just noticed you’re wearing what looks like a t-shirt a 17 year old would wear, bright red, bright written text, and wow it’s tight!!): oh, this is new! I thought you had this since you’re high school/working out days!
    Him (showing off): no it’s new, enty makhadteesh balek men my new style!
    Me (oh my God it’s become a style, great, I’m married to a 30 year old dork): erm, ummm, ok! (change the subject change the subject CHANGE THE FREAKIN SUBJECT) so meen ba2a elly gabetlak el t-shirt we 3arfa ma2asak (yeah right!!)
    Him (3amel mo7rag): mafeesh gheer wa7da, bas ana mesh 3aref heya betfakkar ezzay…
    Me (interrupting impatiently and starting to get irritated): call her now we 2ollaha teegy takhod el zefta de wetla3 law sama7t elbes 7aga Tanya!!
    Him (showing how upset he is because of my attitude): gara eh ya3ne, enty et3asabty leeh, balash ne2leb el yoom nakad…

Of course el nakad followed and then he gave me long speech about how controlling and intolerable I have been since the day he met me; he did a good number that night that I sat down and wrote the most depressing post ever!! That was the beginning of the end.

Around the days he decided to come clean so we can give that train wreck of a marriage another try, thank God it did not work…

  • Him (in a fake reminiscing tone): fakra awel film ro7na cinema sawa
    Me (yeah, tas if that was the best memory ever): yeah, Gladiator
    Him (laughing in that provocative way he doe when he wants me to ask him why he’s laughing): 7aga ghareeba awy!
    Me (I will not ask I WILL NOT ASK): yeah fe3lan 7aga ghareeba en awel film shofnah sawa u enjoyed it very much while I didn’t! wait a minute, we barely like the same movies!!
    Him (disappointed I did not ask): mesh asdi
    Me (bardo won’t ask): ok!
    Him (giving up and deciding to share anyways): asl awel film ro7to ma3aha kan 300… she didn’t enjoy it either
    Me (I WILL NOT CALL HER NAMES I WILL NOT REACT): ok ana mesh 3ayza atkalem delwa2ty ma3ak (DAMN, THIS IS A REACTION)
    Him (pretending it was not done on purpose): enty ze3elty?
    Me (mesh harrod): …
    Him (impatiently): la enty ba2eety amassa awy!!

For no good reason he decided to tell me what he liked about her!! Yes, he’s that crude!

  • Him: 3arfa mezetha 3annek eh?
    Me (mezetha!!): kheir! I didn’t know she was better in me in anything!
    Him: not better, bas she was independent, law el 3arabeya 3etlet tezo2aha, te7eseeha ragel, laken enty dalloo3a we 3ala tool lady keda!
    Me (yanhar eswed! Ana daloo3a!! ANA!!): no one ever called me that, if anything people tell me ana be meet ragel!
    Him: fakra lama el 3arabeya 3etlet back when we were dating we 3ayatty?
    Me: I was 19!!! Kont mezawagha we ayla le ahly eny gowa el maadi we kona fel do2y, it was the first time I lie that way and I was gonna get caught!! Sorry, that was serious!!
    Him: tab law 3etlet mennek el 3arabeya delwa2ty hate3mely eh?
    Me: harkenha wakalem baba aw akalemak teb3atooly 7ad!
    Him (in a victory tone): EXACTLY
    Me: excuse me, I no longer drive a manual, and I have two kids!!
    Him: la2 enty daloo3a and you’re impatient and you like things done in a certain way, mat2aw7eesh
    Me: sa7, I am all that, why do u put up with me? and while you’re at it, do you even know the things I put up with?? Can you hear enta a3ed bet2ool eh??

When I finally decided to insist on divorce and announced it to him…

  • Him (in a crying tone): ya3ne khalas, welly benna?
    Me (in a cruel tone): enta elly bawazto…
    Him (arguing): enty kaman makonteesh sahla, enty 3arfa how tough you can be…
    Me (interrupting): aw ana elly bawazto, it doesn’t matter, it’s over, I will not try anymore…
    Him: weladna?
    Me: hayefdalo weladna… bas da a7san
    Him: a7san ezzay?
    Me: ok, ha2olhalak besara7a… enta khalas no longer el bany 2adam elly 2a2dar a7ebo, wala atheq feeh wala a7termo… ba3d kol elly 3amalto feya, ba3d kol el kedb, ba3d el kheyana, ba3d el kalam elly olto 3alaya… a7san ab3ed 3ashan a3raf akhaly weladak ye7termook like I no longer can… (yes, I meant to repeat how I no longer respected him)

Later, he told everyone that I was “set mesh mo7tarama: for actually daring to tell my man that I don’t respect him!! No, he never admitted to the cheating that he told me about in unnecessary details and he never admitted there was even a platonic relationship; everyone he talked to thinks I am a delusional spoilt brat who did not appreciate the great husband he is!! I stopped explaining; yes, I said I did not respect him and the fact that he told people proves that I was right!!

Months ago, when we met in court for the first time…

  • Him (trying to sound all kind): mesh 3ayza feloos?
    Me (be montaha el araf): you really think I need money?!!!!
    Him: I know you would never ask your dad for anything, I know you never ask anyone for anything
    Me: all the more reasons I would never ask YOU… anyways, I don’t need money alhamdulilah… remember how you always told me rez2y wase3, well, it’s true! Alhamdulilah

Later when we failed to talk in any civil manner, then he started talking about my dad with disrespect, so I stormed out of the room and asked the social worker to take t from there…

  • Him: dana 7ata oltelha takhod feloos!!
    Me (totally losing my temper): enta enta enta…. (I couldn’t find an Arabic word for cheap and I didn’t wanna sound like a spoilt brat to the non English speaking social workers!!)

Last time we met at court in front of the judge and under oath…

  • Him: dana 7atta metala3ha 3umra!
    Me (about to scream in disblief): ma7asalsh!!!!!!!
    The judge (screaming at me): masma3sh 7ess, ma7adesh yetkallem men gheer ezn

Later, outside the Judge’s room as his lawyer was trying to make us reconcile (reconcile my a**)

  • Me (allowing myself to lose my temper, finally): enta tala3teny 3omra!! Enta!! Tab kont talla3 nafsak, 7atta takhod thawab beggad, la wala 3ala eh, enta mash bete3raf te2ool kelma wa7da sed2!!
    Him (be kol berood): ana mesh katabtelek mowaf2a mowathaqa menny ennek enty wel welad tesafro!!
    Me (ta2reeban kont batnattat): oh my God, you really believe the crap that comes out of you!! you really sound convincing enough to yourself!! Ba3d eznak ya ostaz folan (the lawyer), ana harawa7 lewlady!!
    Him: welady elly 7armany menhom?!
    Me: No no no no no, you don’t get to sound like a victim on that one… your son’s birthday party was weeks ago and you didn’t even bother showing up!! Weladak mesh me7tageen wa7ed zayak, we da men fadl rabena 3aleehom
    Him: rabena kebeer we shayef we 3aref, khaly el mo7amy beta3ek yedaya3lek mosta2balhom, dafa3teelo kam 3ashan ye7remhom men aboohom

My lawyer simply grabbed my arm and took me out of the building before I lose my mind!!

There’s a lot more but this is already four pages worth on word!!!! I feel better now knowing that the few people who will endure reading it till the end will probably leave me a comment that will make me smile!!


Deeeeeee said...

3aaaah!! I can not believe you put up with.. this!. You're on the right track or so I think... the t-shirt incident! OMG.. If I were you I would've killed him! Remember how jealous he was of you just saying hellos to a co-worker!! MY GOD! Imagine telling him some colleague bought you a t-shirt! And Umra? Permit to leave the country ba2a esmaha Umra?!! How on earth were you with someone with such an ability to ye7ra2 eldamm!!Ana shaytalek!! Ma3lesh isA isA this will all be over soon, just don't let him get on your nerves too much!

insomniac said...

oh oh oh i forgot to mention something regarding the t-shirt incident... in the very end, he said he was the one who bought the t-shirt for himself to test my reaction and to prove that i am capable of nakad....

eloshkela en whether he bought it or she did, saba7 7ar2 el damm!!

i can't believe i actually endured that much!!

Ma 3lina said...

I was sooo provoked that I msitakenly submitted report for the wrong person

ih ya benty el kan mesbarek 3la kol dah !!!!

tewsel le darget eno ytklm 3anha keda 3adi mostafez gedaaan

Hope this nightmare ends very soon for ur sake isa

Anonymous said...

*blinking really hard*

...why why why why why why WHY?!

on the otherhand, i think he just guaranteed you prime real estate in heaven :)

you're such a survivor


insomniac said...

ma 3alina,

ana asfa u sent the report to the wrong person!

ya benty fh 7agat i blocked from my memory we e 7agat mayenfa3sh tet7eky... ana batghaz n nafsy lama bafteker!!

Sarah-bear :))

THANKS... ameeen :)))


Anonymous said...

Habibty matza3aleesh nafisik! W huwa luh mezza aslan 3ashan tiz3aly?!?!
Rabina yikhalasik mino w kul el araf da.

Anonymous said...

This creature really needs professional help... seriously!

So glad u walked away...that's the only solution , u can't change this creature and no human can take the abuses he projected on u...u r absolutely right about the whole thing, don't ever feel u did anything wrong or u r part of the reasons for this marraige to fail..it's all about him not u .


she said...

I really need to check my blood presure!

bas 3ala fekra chapaux 3ala how good ur upbringing is...

wa7da tanya kanet....wala balash :D

Anonymous said...

el ragel da om zebl khales
- bardon my language i just couldn't hold it-

he is like 3ly baih mazhar if u remember that old movie of sob7y

rabena y3enek

insomniac said...


thanks habibty lel da3awat :) ana mesh za3lana, not the way i once was anyway, alhamdulilah :)


i like ur use of the word creature :) thaks a lot for your kind words :)


merci kteer... ana kont babs bassat te7aseso be na2so :)) seriously tho howa kanet aktar 7aga tegheezo the way i would look at him and when i talk back with my logic defeating his!!

sorry about your blood pressure ya gameela :)) howa beye3la wala beyewta!! asl ana kan beye3la, le7ad ba3d ma be3edt 3ano ba2a beyewta, fekrek feeh 3elaqa?!!!

anon, (is it M?)

i know the movie, but i don't remember that expression!! but 3ali beeh mazhar was rather funnier, this one did not have a sense of humor, trust me!!

thanks :)

Ran said...

and it sounds like eno mesada2 nafso eno kowayes we mazloom ..
god!!!... dun worry dear god and karma will take care of him :)

silent observer said...

I'm trying to find words but I'm just....
well he's such a JERK (hope you're smiling now) :)

insomniac said...

Ran and Silent Observer,

thank yu gals, i'm smiling :))

she said...


بس برضو...المين كانو حيعملوا شغل !
يللا...خد الشر وراح

Nora said...

He is lucky than he can twist things in his own mind so much...
Anyway, I can't think of any words to call him that are not too vulgar for even me to say!
He was lucky to have had you as a wife. You are lucky for losing him as a husband.
Your life is much better without him.. and this is only the beginning. Your life will continue to get better...
Just make sure that you don't let him affect you and that you open yourself and your life up to the good things that come!


Oh yeah, you should not wait for us to post comments that make you smile. Think about how much of an ass he is. Think about how his life will never get better. Think about how karma will bring a whole lotta crap into his life... Just know that he will get what he deserves... and then be done with it. Don't think about it anymore today.. and just concentrate on what will make you happy and smiling for the day!

Shimaa Gamal said...

ana maska nafsy 3an el kalam el abee7, bas my offer is still valid. I would kill him for you and that will make us two in heaven you for tolerating him wana 3ashan khalast el donia mn wa7ed zayoh ..

begad, el ka2en dah lazem yetfresh lely khalfooh el melaya we yet3mel 3ebra le mn la ya3taber ..

walahy 7azoh 7elw enoh we2e3 fi wa7da bent nas.

haijekov said...

This IS unbelievable! You really are a hero for putting up with this. You shouldn't have uslan!
Stay strong dear and you're right. What goes around DOES come around. May God give him what if deserves!

insomniac said...


la, el 2alameen betoo3y may7awa2oosh... rabena yessalat 3aleeh ely yedeelo alameen beggad!!


thanks a bunch for all the things you said, and i mean ALL ;))

well, u know it's always nice when ppl trash someone who's such an ass :))

misho, aka rayya ;)

bas mat2oleesh el kalam da oddam el nas la yeftekrooky safa7a :)

yeah le7ad delwa2ty howa elly 7azo 7elw wana elly 7azy ay kalam, i'm hoping that would change soon enough!!


thankooooo... can't wait till it comes around! or at least end as far as i'm concerned!

Eventuality said...

wallahi tesadda2y dammo 7'afeef, in the most delusional way possible lol!

Bas u know wallahi wa7ed zay da kol elley te3meleeh ennek tebosseelo we tebtesmy ebtesama barda, hatla2eeh howwa elley beyetnatat :D

insomniac said...

i could never handle things beborood that way, it really worked for him :)

last time i met him tho, i could see the humour!!! for the first time, i could actualy laugh!! until ma 7ara2 dammy of course :-/