June 24, 2008
I can’t think of a title!
Earlier this month, when A my colleague found out it was my birthday, he told me how his wife has a multi-personality disorder due to being a Gemini . He kept saying how she has two names; one her dad chose for her that she did not like; hence, every one calls her by her name of choice. He also elaborated that she was born on the 17th, but registered on the 18th; therefore she celebrated on the 17th, which caused him a lot of confusion so he ended up wishing her a happy birthday on both days to avoid any of her “Gemini madness”.
That was irrelevant, but it had to be said because on that very same day we received our medical insurance IDs and I rushed into his office asking him to confirm if her registered name was the one of the ID, since I know he always referred to her with her favorite name and when he made me fill the applications months ago he never mentioned she had a different name. my doubts were in place and the ID was issued with the wrong name which had me do more paper work to have it amended and have a new card issued and sent.
This was what led to this conversation that I still find hard to describe with any proper word!!
Moi *walking into M’s Office since A was there*: hey, here is R’s new medical ID, and here is the old one, my gift to her; now she also has two IDs with both names, as a Gemini, I know for a fact she will appreciate it :)
A *smiling*: shokran ya pasha, she will! Fe3lan el maganeen a7san nas yefhamo ba3d
Moi: merci ya 3a2el
A *looking at both cards*: OR I can marry another one bel esm el tany, now I have both covered medically
Moi: la ya sheikh!
Him: aiwa, mesh enty dayman bet2oleely etgawez tany (never happened of course)
Moi: no, not me, my crazy twin, or in your case, el twin el 3a2la ;)
Him *noticing my sarcasm*: feeha eh ya3ne lama atgawez tany, maho M ahoh 3ayez yetgawez tany
Moi *looking at M in disbelief*: ENTA YA M??!! dana ba2ool 3aleek tayeb we decent, mesh zay A!!
M *with his copyrighted dumb look*: ya3ne eh mesh fahem, howa 3ashan tayeb matgawezsh?
Moi: ba2oloko eh ana maleesh da3wa, ana rag3a maktaby
M: la la beggad… feeha eh lama atgawez, I wanna know your take
Moi: why would you want to remarry, I never met your wife, but you speak highly of her, and judging by the things you say enta meddala3 aslan, she’s a house wife and she’s taking care of your two sons and you strike me as a religious guy who wouldn’t like to inflict injustice to his good wife!
M *in a serious tone*: heya L fe3lan hayla and a perfect wife on so many level, bas ana fe3lan 3ayez atgawez tany
Moi *starting to have an aggressive tone*: leeh ba2a
Moi *laughing*: eh da 7atta A ra2yo men ra2yy!!
*A had a phone call so he had to leave the room*
M: L begad zooga kowayesa, bas feeha eh lama atgawez
Moi: eh elly mekhaleek 3ayez tetgawez… eh? Enta mel nas elly bey2olo sonna we keda?
M: no, ana mesh batgawez 3ashan fakerha sonna, howa feh nas bet2ol keda?
M: howa lazem yekoon feh sabab?
Moi: 3ala 7ad 3elmy la2 it’s a decision you make bas leeh shoroot shar3eya, lazem meratak teb2a 3arfa we mewaf2a….
M *interrupting*: we law mawaf2etsh?
Moi: mahy law mawaf2etsh men 7a2aha tetlob ettala2 we men 7a2ak 3aleeha ennak tettala2ha law enta mossamem tetgawez… enta ba2a shayef en mawdoo3 gawazak dab el ahameya el kafya ennak tehed beet we tegra7 meratak ell yenta nafsak betshkor feeha??
M: ya3ne howa da 3a2l, mesh men 7a2aha tetlob tettala2 law ana etgawezt!
Moi: la2 men 7a2aha, and you can double check!
M: fe wa7da tekhreb betha bardu
Moi *wishing looks could kill as I looked at him*: heya el set talabet tetala2 men nafsaha wala enta elly 3ayez tetgawez!!!!!!!!! We Kaman ana makhalastesh kalamy… shar3an, mesh rabena 2al en kheftom alla ta3delo fa wa7eda, ya3ne el 3adl da shart shar3y… we fe ra2y el motawade3, you won’t…
M: la fe3lan mesh ha3del… asl ana nefsy fe wa7da… ya3ne L hayla we motadayena we kol 7aga we ro7ha tayeba we nedeefa, bas ana 3ayez wa7da motadayena aktar
Moi *thinking to myself NA3AM*: ya3ne eh!!! Elly a3rafo en whatever your religious practices are, the only way you can impose them is by dedicated practice from your end… el deen qudwa just like any kind of behavior, I could be wrong bas da ra2y el khas!
M: te2sody eh?
Moi: ya3ne law wa7da mesh betsally, I think gozha mayenfa3sh ye2olaha tessaly gheer law howa aslant beyssally, we Kaman rabena elly bey7aseb mesh enta, enta leek el 7agat elly hatos2al 3anha feeha bas, we da bardo ra2y el motwade3 we momken awy atla3 mesh bafham!!
M: ana 3ayez wa7da motadayena zayy waktar, ya3ne lel 7a2 ana ah basaly el fard be fardo bas ana batfarag 3al tv we baroo7 cinema we basayef fe 7etat feeha women be mayohat…
Moi: mesh fahmak… *my phone rings* ba2olak I have to go answer the phone (phew, saved by the bell)
Now my own comment, with all respect, el ragel da ahbal wala beyestahbel!!! SERIOUSLY??? Tab ana mesh fahma we 3ayza afham we mesh 3ayza aghlat feeh la2en I used to respect him!! SERIOUSLY!!!!! I can’t find words!! SERIOUSLY!!! I wanna say “ye7ra2 el gawaz 3aly 3ayzeen yetgawezo” bas ba7awel ab2a mo2adaba!! SERIOUSLY!!!