February 14, 2008


I am responsible for organizing an event where the company I work for hosts a big meeting inviting other companies within the same field. So as I prepared the invitations and had them sent out last week, I left my name as the contact person for any updates regarding the attendees and the reports I am supposed to receive in advance to be available in that meeting.


I mean I just wrote my first name and my last name! I did not write my dad’s name because I know people in the field would recognize it. I thought I was relatively safe from being recognized as his daughter (which is not embarrassing at all except for the part where people call and start saying weeeeiiird things)

So here is goes…

Mr. X: Hey inso (yes, he nicknamed me), ezzayek ya habibty 3amla eh
Me: yes, ezzay 7adretak (thinking it was a friend of baba’s whom baba passed my work no. to for whatever reason)
Mr. X: we ezzay ‘ABOOKY’, eh 7ekayto el ragel da, regleeh akhadet 3ala Alexandria keda leh?
Me: 3ady ba2a, merato el tanya kanet 3ayana showaya (mesh 2aly abooky, he must know the joke about baba having a second wife in Alex)
Mr. X: hahahaha dana kalemto yoom el khamees (the day I sent the invitations) 2a2olo en benty fel maadi, but he told me he was in Alex (ok, so baba is sheikh 7aret el maadi now!!)
Me: kont tekalemny, ana assed makano… ana 3arfa el soot bs ma3lesh mesh merakezza, meen ma3aya (la 3arfa el soot wala beta3, bas ba3mel manazer)
Mr. X: ana lessa ba3etlek email
Me: (refreshing my mailbox and reading his name in a stupid loud voice) Mr. XYZ (the name did not sound familiar!!)
Mr. X.: aiwa, ana ebn el kalb da, hahahaha
Me: *mumbling* (ha2olo eh ya3ne, ah masalan?)
Mr. X: hab3atlek ba2a el hard copies later, forsa sa3eeda ya insomniac eny kallemtek, salemeely 3ala baba

Needless to say, my faith in baba’s acquaintances has shaken!!! DRAMATICALLY

But then there was that other guy calling to tell me that they did not receive an invitation, so I asked him about his company name and confirmed that an invitation has supposedly been sent, and with my most polite tone I told him “ana hab3atha le 7adretak 7alan via fax, we in sha2 Allah tesharafna yoom el meeting”, he thanked me and referred to me as Miss insomniac… ok, I won’t interrupt him to tell him “madam men fadlak”… lol

He called me yesterday asking if I received the soft copy of the report, I confirmed and asked if his company was to send the hard copy, he said he’d send it today and said he’s looking forward to seeing me again referring to me with Miss! Today, shortly after I received the report he called asking if I received the hard copy, I confirmed, so he went on and on about how it’s a pleasure talking to me referring to me as Miss again!!! Then he paused and asked me:

Him: your family name sounds familiar, do u have relatives in maadi??
Me: I’m sorry can I get your name again? (well, if he knows baba I might as well write his name down and tell baba he said hi, mana fadya)
Him: folan el folany
Me: ahlan be 7adretak, sorry I am not good with names (in fact I am)
Him: so u have relatives in maadi?
Me: yes, who do u know? (I like a3mel 3abeeta)
Him: Mr. ABC (baba) he was the chairman of the NGO for blah blah blah
Me: yes, he’s my dad
Him: really, then Mr. DBC is your uncle??
Me: yes, in fact he’s my dad’s second cousin (ok, this can go forever, since my dad had another second cousin who used to work in the same field, only he died, Allah yer7amo)
Him: you know I live in maadi too, and I used to come to your dad’s office around 10 years ago
Me: Really. (that was the most uniterested ‘really’ ever said)
Him: yeah, I think you were a little girl back then, akeed keberty we ba2eety 3arooosa
Me: (LOL) merci
Him: khalas salemeely 3ala baba and I will see you on the day of the event ya MISS insomniac

El ragel gayebly 3arees shaklo… eh el araf da!!!! Maat, I know how it felt with the last guy who proposed through your boss (did I just say too much?)

I think I am about to change my name. any suggestions people??

P.S. my real name is not insomniac, and all the aliaces are not the people’s real names either. OK!


Maat said...

yeah and he didn't even KNOW baba!!
and I wasn't even giving him my brightest smile when he was in my office, I was busy! How the HELL can someone decide to... ahhhh.. whatever!

insomniac said...

brightest smile LOL... ommal konty mesadara eh the busy turtle expression, it worked i guess!!

baba still thinks u should have met the guy :p

Anonymous said...

I don't know how to address you now , I'm totally shocked that your real name is not insomniac..!
but my total shock comes as a solution, why don't you adopt insomniac as your real name.
please don't be oblivious to my suggestion OK ya.... perhaps next time i will know.

Geddo Iskandar said...

ok :P

embee said...

I love your work-related stories. On extra dreary days @ work where I'm maneuvering donkey dung and naked dirty toddlers trying to shoo a me3za off of my car, I wish I'd spend a day in your office..

Deeeeeee said...

LMAO, I have that problem all the time, it all started when someone addressed me as Mostafa, I was very tempted to tell the lady, that the probability that my dad named me after him was VERY SLIM!!

My 7th day at my old (first) job, someone, who claims to have opened the door for me a couple of days ago, approached me telling me that he wanted to propose and started telling me all about his family. I don't know what that was all about! Do you and Maat have any ideas on how to get rid of arranged marriage settings, cause someone is trying really haaaaaaaaaard to set me up? :S

insomniac said...

mahmood, i knew that the fact that my name is not insomniac would be that shocking; hence the P.S.

geddo, ok eh bezzabt?

embee, ur most welcomed to spend a day in my office hun... u'd LOVE it :))))

D, at college a dude who knew my dad used to call me by his name, flattering!!

the whole 3arees thing, honey, all i have to do is wear a huge ring on the meeting day... after all, i am still technically married (lol)

maat on the other hand always says crap like "no chemistry" and starts looking for all the reasons to say no... i help :)))

Geddo Iskandar said...

P.S. my real name is not insomniac, and all the aliases are not the people’s real names either. OK!
Geddo Iskandar said...

ok :P


insomniac said...

perceptive ya geddo :)