Wrapped within a jazzy tune!

Looking through the window and seeing all those marshmallow clouds around me, I wrapped my shawl around me as jazz tunes tickled all my senses…

It was the perfect setting; finishing up a cup of coffee as my favorite lindt melted in my mouth after a brief chat with the friendly flight attendant, me alone on that row, and Ella and Louis singing… that was when it hit me…

I finally felt that warm fuzzy feeling I was missing most of my trip…

I felt gratitude for it all, I felt the kind of happy I couldn’t feel earlier when I was burdened by all the things that haunted my soul!

The end of my trip did not feel sad like endings are mostly known to be; mine was satisfying.

It all fell into place as the plane slowly came closer to the ground, and I could see the tiny little details through the cotton-candy clouds, I was reminded of my love for details and I remembered those particular ones that made me smile during my trip…

And all of a sudden, it felt like home!

Oh details, I just love you; you make my life!! In you, my true happy moments belong and I am forever grateful that I can see you, even if at the end!

Never Been Happier!!

I don’t think I can put in words, but for the sake of all the sadness on this blog, I should at least try! So excuse the incoherence and inadequate choice of words; I’m too happy to actually find the right words to describe any of it!

I knew Rasha was on to something when I saw two of my friends recently added to her list of friends. She hid the FB notification, but she couldn’t hide their becoming mutual friends from me; strangely enough, I stumbled on her profile accidentally!!!

All I wanted was to sit somewhere quiet where Rasha, D and whomever of my friends would join for a get together. I knew it was not that easy given how not all of my friends know one another and I didn’t even ask or say how it would be great. I told a couple of my friends to join so casually so that they wouldn’t feel urged to since it was my birthday and all!

I lost track of my doubts about Rasha planning something; she was really subtle, she was not too hectic or too nervous for me to tell. Actually, she was too calm and quiet and she managed to orchestrate everything and divide the distraction equally among the rest of my friends. I always thought I’d figure you out Rasha because of how nervous you get when you’re on to something!!!

Mayo & Dee called me on my way to go some scarf shopping and made me change my plans. I drove the kids home, met with the girls to do my scarf shopping, and planned to go to the hair dresser’s for some pampering! Dee claimed she needed to shop for a very specific top in order to stall, and Mayo was about to buy a hideous golden belt just to keep me distracted. We went to shops we never shop in and poor Dee actually tried on a set of hideous stuff and made me laugh until I got cramps!!!!!

Not just that, they made me try an outfit and had me buy it because it looked good on me. Mayo urged me to change into that outfit so that I’d be wearing something new on my birthday. I love the outfit and I’d wear it everyday to remind me of the evening I had!

Honestly, the girls did all they could to keep me away from Condetti until everyone was there to surprise me! They even arranged with my sis to buy me some time at home so that I won’t have to be home early. Really appreciated that!

Although I take pride in my ability to connect the dots, I must say everyone did a great job yesterday distracting me that despite all the signs I just stopped suspecting anything!

I still laugh at how I stumbled on Mayo & Dee all parked and getting out of the car to beat me to Condetti and surprise me after I had supposedly left them, yet I didn't pick on it much when Dee said she had forgotten her jacket in my car (which she did)! Or parking right behind Will’s car and thinking “doesn’t will drive a similar car?!” and then shaking it off!! 2al connect the dots 2al, ya fde7ty!

I was carrying my pillowcase of a laptop and walking into Condetti aiming for the non-smoking area when I noticed how the waiters had somehow blocked my way so that I’d head for the smoking area where almost everyone was laughing while waiting for me, (did you guys scream surprise, I honestly can’t remember!!)

I saw my sisters, D, Will, Mayo & Dee and I was shaken and shivering and mumbling stuff, I can’t really remember; all I remember is that I was actually surprised and happy!

Before I noticed, either Mayo or Dee placed the Derby Hat on my head while Will was giving me my birthday gift (thanks for the perfume, you know I love!) The moment I felt the hat on my head I asked about Rasha for I’ve been nagging for God knows how long for one!!(I wore it to work today)

I sat next to my D and my body couldn’t stop shaking from all the happiness and excitement. I never knew I could shake and shiver that way out of happiness; I have only tried it when I was angry! It feels AMAZING when you’re happy!

A while later, Rasha arrived.

I sat there feeling like I couldn’t possibly be happier!

A while later A joined and I just didn’t think he was gonna make it!!

And just as I thought that was it and was about to get comfy and adjusted to the amazing surprises, Ahmed joined!!! Now Rasha, that was beyond any expectations and I was SHOCKED, in a very good way.

I couldn’t believe how sweet and friendly Ahmed was… such a nice guy!

I kept getting hot and cold episodes which made me shiver; you see, I don’t think I am used to that much happiness!! Remembering it, I can still shiver!! A kept saying I was crazy complaining about how hot then shivering!

I ended up sitting on the couch next to D leaning on her shoulder. For a while there, I sat there and watched everyone talking, joking and laughing and I secreting wondered to myself “All those people gathered to make a remarkably good day! I must have done something amazing in my life to deserve that much effort out of each and everyone one of them” I felt loved, and it felt GREAT!

Ahmed said I should say a speech!

It couldn’t be any cheesier, but it was genuine!! Yes, I had no wishes to think of, I had all I could possibly ask for, friends who were there to make me happy and who would go to such measures to do it!

That was when each wished me something. I got sweet wishes and funny wishes, and even wishes that I was promised wouldn’t come true ;) not to mention wishes that got my sis hit!

Before Ahmed left he asked me to choose a song for him to sing me on my birthday. I had too many in mind but I thought I should ask for my “feel good song”; Somewhere Beyond the Sea. And he sang it :)

And then there was my “cake”… gardal Profitrole!!!

Rasha!! You managed to orchestrate a day made of my favorite things!!! And you had such a perfect team, even the ones who couldn’t make it were amazing.

I couldn’t be happier and I seriously couldn’t be more grateful!!

You guys are leaving me speechless!! How could I possibly do the same for you? I couldn’t possibly top what you’ve done for me even if I tried!!!!!!

I am speechless… I am happy… and I am eternally grateful…

This is by all means the best birthday I’ve ever had!

THANKS!

And I'm Feeling Good!

I am free

And I'm Feeling Good

الحمد لله

I was granted the divorce.

I still can’t find the words to describe my happiness, but I assure you all, I AM HAPPY :)

I thought i'd be able to say all the words that would describe how I feel, but all I can say now, is I am free, I am happy, alhamdulilah :)

ALHAMDULILAH

A Snack, a Granita, a five-hours Conversation, and Coffee!

Yesterday I met with an old college professor of mine whom I comfortably refer to as friend. We haven’t met during the past nine years, but we’ve managed to keep in touch, thanks to emails and facebook!!

During the five hours we spent talking, I must say I couldn’t have possibly been happier! At some point, we had this conversation…

Me: … so, I was advised to avoid eye contact in case I was
provoked!
Him *laughing*: best advice ever! *more laughter* because you have the worse eye contact when you dislike someone!
Me *extremely surprised*: ME!!! When did that ever happen with you?!! You do know how much I like you!! You NEVER got on my bad side!!
Him *still laughing*: yeah I know, you’ve been amazingly sweet that it’s hard to picture you disliking anyone! But I remember seeing how you would glare at colleagues who bothered you back in college; it would be like you were shooting FIRE then all of a sudden, it would turn to ICE!! I remember thinking that could not be possible even physics wise!!
Me *laughing*: I’ve been told it was a good thing looks don’t kill because I would have been doing time now, lots of it!! I still find it unbelievable you noticed enough to remember!!
Him: you have no idea who remarkable that glare is!!

I was extremely touched by how much he remembered of me!! He always said he thought I was a unique person and that he admired my character. He always said that I communicated well and knew how to deliver my point, and that most of the time I was right and it fascinated him. I generally took his words of praise as a compliment despite the fact that M is not the type who make up things just to be nice, but seeing how he remembered such a detail amazed me! I was flattered someone I respect and admire that much thinks of me that way and actually knows about me something I never deliberately shared!!

Yesterday, I learned a lot of things from M through the most general of things that we discussed; everyday-life kinda stuff, only from a perspective I could relate to, finally!!!

As we walked down road 9 from Cilantro to Greko, I was amazed at how he knew random kids who sold tissues at the street and the guards who stood by the bank for God knows how many years to whom I never bothered stopping by and saying hello!! We walked into Greko and everyone knew and sincerely greeted him; the cashier actually told me I was privileged to be M’s friend, I confirmed with a big smile!

By the time I dropped him off to where he’s staying, he told me it was the most fun he had in Egypt so far! I told him we should repeat it before he left back home, and I really hope we would.

!!!

This was taken from two long phone calls that took place yesterday. I have no idea why the calls dragged, but it could be attributed to my bad bad flu and my lack of concentration.

Him: enty beted3y 3alaya??
Me: no!
Him: you must, my life sucks these days; everything and everyone is turning against me
Me: well, I once said “rabena yegazeeh 3ala ad 3amalo we neyetto”, so I am guessing 3amalak eswed!
Him: *bitter laugh* I guess so
Me: So what do u want? What are you calling me for? You know I am the last person who would feel for you
Him: I thought I could always find a friend in you; after all, you have always been my best friend
Me: I am not your friend, at least not anymore… and for what it’s worth, you’ve never been my friend, if you think you were, then let me tell you, you sucked at it! So now that we’ve established I am not your friend, 3ayez eh?
Him: 3ayez 2a2olek en 7ayaty bayza, yemken da yeraya7ek… rabena ba3atlek nas keteer takhodlek 7a2ek even more than you could have ever done it yourself
Me: *sarcastic laugh* there might be a time I would have been happy to hear that, but I realized that if it makes me happy, then I won’t be much different from you, and I would like to think I am…
Him: then why do I hear anger in your voice?
Me: this is not anger, don’t you remember what anger was like?
Him: so is it hate?
Me: I promised I wouldn’t hate you, you don’t deserve hate
Him: what is it?
Me: dismay I guess… you see, you’re not the person I would like to talk to, especially when I am down with cold and need every moment of rest.
Him: can I ask you something?
Me: whatever…
Him: do you not love me anymore?
Me: *laughing* (the question sounded funny really)… no, I am not
Him: ok, apparently you have moved on
Me: yeah, anything else??
Him: *sobbing voice!!* no, bye and good luck
Me: *hanging up*

I had this conversation in my head so many times, I didn’t actually believe it was happening!! Strange though how it didn’t feel as glorious as I once thought it would; wasn’t bad at all either :)

And oh oh oh, more good news, I’m gonna be an auntie (YEEEEEYYY)… my friend H is pregnant… I am so excited; this time, it’s not me who will give birth, hehe!

Too happy to be bothered!

I got to my car to find all four tires FLAT, for the SECOND time this week!!! I know I have been parking in a place that belongs to a government facility but there is no “no parking” sign and this was no civilized way to handle it. I swear once my good mood wears off, I will find who’s responsible and kick some serious a$$.

That being said, I WENT TO THE MOVIES. *fireworks* and it was everything I thought it would be.

Yessssss, my very first movie since I gave birth to mocha. The last movie I saw was Music & Lyrics and it was around 3 weeks before I gave birth; this means I haven’t been to the movies for almost nine months. NINE MONTHS people!!!!!!

I went to the movies, yeeey… I can’t get over it!! Even when my friend called to ask which movie I wanted to see as I was still at the gas station refilling my tires, I told her "I don’t care Surprise me". It was AL Jazeera. I thought she was going for 7eena Maysara, but I guess that was what she wanted to see.

Nonetheless, I like it. I am not sure if it was due to my desperate need to get into a movie theatre, or if it simply was the good script, the good casting and Sherif Arafa’s good work. I will know for sure after I see more movies; right now, I have movietitis to recover from.

Boy, am I easy to please!!!!!

Random Happiness… again!!

Yesterday was one good day generally!

It was brought to my attention that I never received my estemara 6 from my previous job. True! I had no idea one was supposed to obtain it from former employer; I always thought it was automatically forwarded to the employment office and then provided by the same to the next employer whenever needed. It just made more sense in my head that way. A friend of mine pointed on another note that I live in my own dream world, which I think was a compliment despite the sarcastic tone.

So, I called the Administration Manager, who is a retired lewa, a pretty grumpy old man who can be extremely nice to polite people such as myself, despite how obnoxious he is to blue collar staff! The man was of great help and told me he could even give the document to a friend of mine who worked there if I couldn’t personally go and pick it up to which I replied “la ya seyadet el lewa, ana lazem agy assalem 3ala 7adritak Kaman”. I have a friend who personally hates that man and who will have strong urges to call me names when he reads this. Sorry B, the man is nice to me; my late grandpa wasn’t that nice, so when people his age show signs of niceness, i respond!

I also happened to know while calling them that my colleague/trainer got promoted to Department Manager, which made me so thrilled to go give her a you-go-girl hug, so it wasn’t just to personally thank el lewa.

After miraculously finding a parking space, I stumbled upon a guy who worked in the Legal Department whom I barely even liked, and he was extremely nice to me, which made me think that now that I have seen how low people can sink (courtesy of my husband), I am able to see people as less obnoxious!

The moment I walked in on my recently promoted colleague, she greeted me so warmly as I congratulated her we kept squealing with joy like girls do, until people gathered. Those whom I worked with greeted me BIG time; all hugs and kisses from the girls and strong handshakes from the guys (which sounds extremely weird to non Arabs, I know).

I was instantly reminded of how warm it felt working with those people. How the only thing that made me wake up in the very early morning and endure leaving so late and the hectic work load. It simply was that I could joke with those people all day long. I felt warm and fuzzy inside, that my cheeks kept on blushing more and more with happiness, which made S (my former supervisor/mother figure whom I feel comfortable ranting to) tell me I especially glowed, despite her knowing of the loads of crap I am sinking under.

It was overwhelming how I kept running into people who told me I was looking great. It made me feel great! Yes, I hereby admit that despite not caring what people think of me, it did make a difference yesterday when people told me nice things either about my looks or how they missed “the joy my spirit brought to the workplace”.

I sat with S alone for a while and she gave me my so much needed dose of support/advice, then I dropped by my friend’s office, the one who got me that job who happens to be the sister of one of my two best friends, and also knows about the drama in my life. We kept talking about how the upcoming move to the new work location is going and I asked her which company they were dealing with in this regard. She told me it was the company the husband worked for; yes, the one where that person he cheated on me with still works! This brought us to talking about him. She told me the most amazing thing ever: “you know, there is nothing to worry about when it comes to restarting your life without him; money buys everything, everything is replaceable, EXCEPT good people, and he was not good. As for money, Rabina elly beyeb3atha la2enaha riz2 men 3ando, so don’t worry, things will be fine”

I told her how the only thing that sometimes made me a tad bitter was feeling that he never felt remorse for what he did, for believing his own bull shit. To that, she told me that he may never feel the remorse he should and that he may remain delusional about the whole thing; however, it will sting to see me moving on as if losing him was never a big deal and that one look at how my face was glowing would make him feel that way instantly.

These people have made my day. Damn it, they returned color to my face after I thought it had gotten too pale even for make up to revive. THANK YOU GUYS. I know it means nothing to say that when I refused rejoining the company. But the reasons I quit still stand, so let me just say, it’s been great.

Of course I went home to my mother to actually find her still talking about going back to him, but this time I was too happy to repeat my previous reply, and instead I told her calmly in front of my dad to repeat what she said, and he did the honors. Thanks baba, I LOVE YOU.

I am happy, at least for today, alhamdul’Ellah.

Oh yeah, MERRY CHRISTMAS and all.

Quick Update...

I just called the nursery!!

They are back safely, all kids present, and when I specifically asked about my cuteness, I was told he was happy and "meza2tat". YEEEEY *insert fireworks and such*

I can't wait till it's 4 so that I can go pick him up and ask him questions about his trip to which he would answer "aaannnn annn" or "aaah eeeeeh" or try to explain with his made-up sign language.

Counting the minutes... well, not really, I am too busy to even write the post, just wanted to thank those who advised me to send him... Thank you people...

Random Happiness...

I feel loved :)