March 11, 2009

On –happy- endings!


There was a time I was big on happy endings and big words like closure. I would jump to the last page of a book hoping it would give me a clue to whether I would like it or not, and even while reading, I’d skip details just to jump to the end much faster missing out on descriptions of surroundings or tones of speech! It never really made me enjoy books less for all I know. Part of it is due to being a Gemini I suppose; luckily, it came with good intuition that helped me guess or rather imagine the things I skipped!

It was not just about my intellectual preference; this is how I lived most of my life, always looking forward impatiently to what’s next. I always looked one step forward, which caused me to not enjoy what I had to the fullest. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy my life, I am just saying that I could have done better, much better actually!

I always thought I’d live my life like a movie in a way, with a rather short duration with too much events, all taking place so rapidly before my time comes! And I wanted a happy ending, I wouldn’t have compromised for less; call it the Disney effect or whatever, but all I ever wanted was my own happy ending just like all those fictional characters.

Years later and on a closer look, I realize happy endings are everywhere. No, let me rephrase that; happy is everywhere, it just isn’t the ending, and perhaps even neither is sad an ending!


I read/watched it somewhere but I can’t find the exact words or the reference for it… They tell you how the movie ends, they make you believe that all the troubles cease to exist and that those in love find eternal happiness and live happily ever after! But they don’t show you what happens next; that in time, they get over their happiness and then troubles and bitterness catch up, and they start fighting over the smallest of things to the extent that their epic happiness is forgotten or no longer counts for anything. He’s never there and she’s always complaining, and then the happy ending turns into built up resentment from both sides… I really wish I remembered where the original lines of that meaning came from; they really speak for me.

Yes, we live our lives with the notion that we’re defined solely by endings when in reality, it is far more complicated; how can one be strictly defined by an ending of which they know nothing?! Or at least this is how I see it…

You can choose a special moment of victory in your life and call it your happy ending, making your life eternally revolve around the fulfillment of that purpose until the day you die.

Or you can freeze a sad moment of losing something you once held so dear and refuse to move on, creating your very own tragic ending.

Or you can just choose to take mental pictures of your happy moments to help you get over your sad ones as you go on in life from one adventure to the next, hoping that at the end of your journey the good will outweigh the bad and you’ll perhaps die with a smile on your face and be occasionally remembered with one.

In fewer words, it’s in the details that you find true meanings, not in the endings; ironically, closures have more to do with those details, only we get it at the end when it all adds up.

17 comments:

Knowledge Seeker said...

I started following ur blog not long time ago & have read lot of ur old posts, the idea that keep popping after reading every post "I’m in love"
Hold ur horses I don’t mean in love in creepy weirdo internet way but I do love ur mind & way of thinking & expressing ur thoughts, I’m sure that u don’t need me to point out ur strengths or weaknesses coz u know them all more than anyone, even when u doubt urself sometimes deep inside u r so sure that u r coming out again stronger than ever...
I’m not sure if I’ll ever know u in person or even if I’ll comment or continue following the blog, but I’m sure it make me feel much better knowing that decent intelligent people are still there
By the way I wrote this thought couple of days it might be related to this post
Targets & goals are overrated; the ways to get there are more important as they consume the most of our lives

Abdelsalam Rashad said...

Happy endings exist only in heaven.

insomniac said...

Knowledge Seeker,

thanks a lot for your words, they really mean something to me, you have no idea :)

what you wrote very much relates, it's funny how we spend our lives to reach something and when we finally get it, no matter how precious it is to us, it kinda starts losing its value over time, sad actually! makes you think that the only way your goals would remain of value is to attain them without losing our essence in the process ... it's all part of the famous phrase "life is a journey, not a destination"...

i hope you keep coming :)

insomniac said...

Abdelsalam,

i cannot disagree with you, but heaven is not something any of us have experienced yet! and you don't just get there, it takes a lot to earn it, a lifetime to be exact... or at least close enough... like Knowledge Seeker said it...

as for now, happy shall suffice, the endings can come when it's meant to come i suppose...

Abdelsalam Rashad said...

It is very true that once we have something we always wanted to have it begins to lose its value and by time you don't feel the happiness...
For me,people all around me envy me because I am happy..I just feels happiness by very small things like being able to do things I love..which are so simple like watching a nice movie or listening to my favourite songs...going out with my old friends..I feel happiness easily..And any problem I have I say'( Rabenna yesahel)' and by time it gets resolved..Just take a wider look from above and you will feel all these problems are tiny things..And I believe that Time heals anything..And LIFE GOES ON WAHTEVER HAPPENS

Mohamed ElGohary said...

Well how I take it is: Enjoy the moment :)

I like this "happy" post.

insomniac said...

Abdelsalam,

i agree with those people then, i guess ur not a worrier by nature, good for you, it's a blessing... trust me, i know :)

i know things end, they always do, i just worry about what until then... what the problem will take/change of you until it goes away is what really concerns me, again, the details rather than the end :)


Mohamed,

hehe, ya bakhtak... the way i do it these days is over analyze the moment....

it wasn't really meant to be a happy post... just reflecting i guess... glad u liked it anyways :)

Knowledge Seeker said...

I have a big idea what does it mean belive me, that's why i wrote my comment:)
i know coz being different is always hard & it feels great when we r ensured from others that we are right & different yes but in a good way.. & u r

Shimaa Gamal said...

I am speechless! This is one of the best posts you wrote.
I had a bad day and this post just boosted my mood.

Thank you *kisses*

insomniac said...

Knowledge Seeker,

thanks again... ur leaving me speechless, it counts for something :)


Shimz,

glad i boosted your mood... and flattered you liked that post that way... thanks dear :)

*kisses*

gjoe said...

There is happy everywhere.. YES This is true.

Bass so2al.. do you mean, that somehow we choose which happy moments are to be frozen and then named as endings? If so, then college was such a happy ending. Or is it endings are also beginnings?

After that, blurry...

Ice Queer said...

Happy endings r like monogamy; they're human invention! They gotta tell u something 2 make u feel better abt urself before u sleep and look fwd to the next day.PERIOD =)

Ice Queer said...

Did u c "Monster" movie before? (the one that Charlize Theron had an Oscar for)
I love what she said in the end of the movie:
"Love conquers all...
Every cloud has a silver lining...
Faith could move mountains...
Love will always find a way to you...
Everything happens for a reason...
Where there is life, there is hope...
Bla bla bla...

They gotta tell u something, no?!"

insomniac said...

ojie,

i meant to say that sometimes we magnify a moment of happiness or a fulfilled goal that we stop aspiring for more, we kinda make our lives revolve around that particular thing eternally to the extent that we may never realize better goals....

the example i had in mind was a friend who got married and thinks that starting a family (beghad el nazar how disturbed that family might be) is all she's ever meant to be, heya keda etgawezet we 3amalet elly 3aleeha... and it has more to do with my own bat7a; when i married for love, i thought it was the ultimate acheivement of my life and that my search had ended and it kept me from growing for a number of years that it too me a serious shock to catch up...

just my own reflection on all of that, akeed there's a level of error :)

insomniac said...

IQ,

beware, ur talking to a disney girl :)

i have to believe better things are to come before i go to sleep so that i can face the next morning and the next.... i just convince myself that a couple of happy moments can do for the week, nothing especially grand anymore :)

i never saw the monster movie, it was on my to-watch list but i guess i forgot all about it! but i do believe things happen for a reason, it's what keeps me sane... yeah yeah, i can be too obnoxiously bubbly when i'm in a good mood :)

The.I.inside said...

I got that exact same idea 2 years ago, I discovered that in life there is no "ending" happy or other wise because even if our life did "end" the movie is going on for someone else.

insomniac said...

yeah but even with my approach, i only care about my life and mine ends when i die, i have nothing to do with the life as far as everyone else is concerned here :)