December 20, 2008
I fear…
heights… it’s manageable, but it gets to me from time to time…
insects and spiders… tried working on my fear by killing them, but I get too hysteric throwing shoes at them and then I get to scared their spirits would haunt my shoes…
becoming another version of my own mother… or my kids resenting me like I sometimes resent her…
death… only because I know it will come when I’m least ready, and because now I have two people depending on me…
growing old… the helplessness and the loneliness scare me, plus, women in my family DO NOT age gracefully…
that my decisions, especially the bad ones, would come back and haunt me…
losing loved ones, either to death or to disappointment followed by detachment and letting go…
looking back and feeling that my life was a total waste…
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8 comments:
Fear of heights is normal, as long as your's is not as severe as mine, you should be fine, I can't stand on a chair.
Insects and spiders are scary cause they're unpredictable, I mean, let's face it, we don't even know where they're looking in the first place.
Fear of death, again, a common one, it's fear of the unknown, we all have beliefs about death, but has anyone been there and came back to tell us, are we wrong in our beliefs, our faith tells us we aren't, but like all faiths, it's dependent on believing something that defies logic, hence the fear, as it contradicts with what makes sense to all of you.
I'll quote a very logical explanation to the significance of death, in Tarot readings, death is usually a welcome card, it signifies change, a new beginning or a major change in your life, try thinking of it that way, it'll be less repulsive.
Your other fears are very personal, so, these, you face alone.
well, i can stand on chais and i defy my fear of heights by going on roller coasters ;)
the insects thing is severe tho... i don't care how ppl perceive me, but i react in hysteric screaming and jumping... happened today and felt humiliating :)))
my fear of death is not because i have a thing against change or the unknown... if anything, i am too restless that i welcome change and look forward to it... i fear it because i know i am not ready to deal with whatever is next, and because i worry about my boys and what would happen to them when i'm gone....
the rest are not as personal really, perhaps you just don't relate ;)
how is the slow internet driving u nuts :)
Don't you love how we have no contingency plan?
Crippled is a most befitting word right now.
u have no idea!
yesterday i realized i relied on the internet for everything! even to plan my outings and to know whatever happens around!
i felt miserable, where do you think the morbid post came from?
My case was worse, I was expecting work e-mails, which got through at 1 AM, had to work through the night to meet the deadline.
ouch!!
you win,
score...
you : 2 -- me : 0
(1 for the internet misfortune, and 1 for having issues getting on a chair)
do i get any points for spending too much time in front of my pc writing lame posts?!
Who says they're lame, they keep me company, from my point of view, that makes them worthwhile.
oh, thanks :)
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