She said “it’s like I’ve been pushed into cold water and I had no idea how to swim, and it’s taking me quite a while to regain a very delicate balance on which it depends whether I will survive or drown”… Or something close enough to that anyway.
The strange part is that those words are exactly what I had in mind when I picked that photo to represent me! I did not want to interrupt her by pointing out another similarity simply because I thought we had quite enough in common.
Now She knows :)
Whoever threw me into the water knew I did not know how to swim, yet never knew that I am a survivor by nature! I don’t think I knew that about myself either!! Perhaps I was never persistent enough to learn how to swim, or float for that matter; it’s amazing how you can surprise yourself when you have to!
Well, I still don’t know how to swim, but I have learnt how to float!
I have a little secret though; my floating is conditional. Every now and then I have to make sure my feet can still touch solid ground and that I have not drifted to a place where I would be forced to count on that delicate balance which I cannot trust my body to maintain all the time.
I keep checking. I keep checking with fear and anticipation of the moment when my body fails me, only to find out that I have drifted really far from whatever solid ground I currently have underneath!
There is more in my head that I am trying to get out, but my words keep failing me… I guess I will just leave it at this for now; so later…