February 16, 2009

Bla bla bla...

I used to love winter, until the last few winters when I started seeing them through the eyes of a mother; kids just love getting sick in winter… and I no longer get to go out carrying just my own extra jacket or shawl, now I carry two tiny jackets, icecaps, and a scarf (Mocha would strangle me with one if I try to make him wear it!).

If the dust does not settle anytime soon, I will probably die coughing my heart out! I’ve always known I have hyposensitive skin; and I refer to Amsheer as my allergy season, but it’s ruining the supposedly good February weather for me, not to mention that I sound like a frog with larynx cancer which was shot and chose to die in my throat, ahem! February is supposed to be the best month in the year God damn it, I wrote a whole post about that but because I am too resentful now I can’t post it!

My tulip is dying. I blame Amsheer. She was beautiful, I called her Leilah, she was all closed up and tiny when I bought her, dark ruby red, beautiful, I wish I had taken a photo. Now, she miserably tries to keep her elegant posture in my vase, the edges of her petals are getting drier and more fragile. I am now contemplating drying her up while she’s still beautiful instead of letting her wither and die! I told you Rasha, I take it too personally when my flowers die, now you have to cheer me up!

I am stress-eating a lot lately! None of my clothes show any significant weight gain, but as always, I know it will sneak up on me soon if I don’t do something about it. I have already went on a shopping spree to convince myself that if I gain weight I will not be able to wear my beautiful stuff; ironically, two of my new work pants are practically falling off, I don’t get it!! Anyways, I can always get too depressed, too happy or too busy and I will lose any extra weight in less than a week! (fingers crossed)

I have a meeting tonight, something really big for me and I am hoping I won’t be disappointed by finding out that I had bigger expectations of how things are, like I usually do. I am basically meeting a new bunch of people to try to help with something of which I know so little but I would like to learn more. It has to do with my personal growth and my potential further studies if any, so I am really excited!

My dad sat me down yesterday and explained that the final ruling in my divorce case is scheduled in May. He said that it’s up to the x if he wants to end things civilly. He also implied so subtly that if the x shows enough evidence that he has cleared his act; I should “stop acting like a man and act more like a woman“, swallow my massive pride and consider going back on my own terms for the kids’ sake. I was too tired of telling him “no way“ so I just smiled knowing I can always count on the x to be the complete jerk he’s always been. They can blame my type A personality all they want, whatever makes them sleep at night. Look at me, I’m all grown up and zen!!!!!

I am extremely confused and overwhelmed by all the school options I should consider for my Beem. I am starting to doubt me French education decision, which is crazy because it would mean that I should transfer him to the English class in his nursery if I want him to do well on English Schools interviews. The responsibility is driving me crazy to the extent that my colon is acting up! Seriously, I appreciate having full say in the matter unlike all my friends who have to spend hours arguing with their spouses about such decisions, but I never said I couldn’t use good advice even if I end up using my constitutional right of disregarding it!

I am literally dragging my lazy behind to work every day now! I don’t know what’s wrong with me! Yes, I never liked waking up that early, but I did like going to work; now, I just sit there doing minimum work and I put off the annoying things like filing or calling people back for previously requested information. I don’t like that, it makes me think about my own shit, and work used to be where I ran away from my own shit!

Speaking of work, why do meetings pop on the days I go to work in my jeans!!! I mean I’ve been abiding by my formal dress code for weeks now and it’s the same day over and over with me in a trance posture in front of my PC or over the phone or even running errands that do not include meeting people I work with! So the day I think I would rather sit back in my chair wearing jeans, I get a call from the new General Manager from the company downstairs asking if he could schedule a meeting, not fair!!

Ok, I can’t think of anything more for now.


The.I.inside said...

concerning the last part of your post, that's the irony of our life,
It's a traffic jam when you're already late
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife.
Regarding the Schooling, how come you are second guessing yourself. I think french education is good because kids grow up with 2 second languages instead of just 1. of course I've met people from french schools who can't understand french if there life depended on it and I've met the same type in English education. (so i think it's an individual difference)
but personally I think the problem with french schooling is that it's mostly done by nuns (as far as I know), which make the girls a little out of touch with the real world. but I can't speak in regarding to guys cause I've never met a guy who graduated from a french school. but remember that if you didn't wait for the school to do your job and raise up your kids, then they'll end up fine where ever they go.
sorry about your flower, that's why am not a plant person.
Sorry for the longest comment ever

insomniac said...

hehe, i like long comments; they're usually fun to read :))

so, the guy came an hour late!! anyways, he was more on the casual side too, but seriously, i am contemplating leaving a formal outfit at work for those days!

i know linguistic skills as well as education in general are relative... what can i say, i'm obsessing!! ironically, he got his first school interview at an English school, it's next Sunday, and i have to prepare him just in case i get stuck with it... and you don't know my Beem, he's very aware of what gets out of his mouth and it takes a lot to get him to say anything although he's brilliant and has such a good memory! *freaaaaaaking*...

i am not a plant person, i just couldn't resist seeing that tulip and not buy it... actually no, i could have resisted it, but rasha made me buy it!

The.I.inside said...

Leaving a formal outfit at work is an idea worth contemplating also a Good idea is to wear black jeans, they look a lot on the formal side but they are as comfy as...., jeans.
Hopeing for the best regarding your son's school, whatever it is.

O! and about the thing you are waiting for (the one you meantioned in your post)
Hope for the best but expect the worst, and don't set your expectaitons too high or else you are bound to be disappointed.
Good thing that Rasha made you buy that flower, because disregarding everything else you seem to love haveing it around.

insomniac said...

black jeans look a bit too shabby no matter how carefully u wash them, something with cotton and black!!! i've been meaning to buy black cords for comfy days at work, but i can't seem to find any!

i am still trying to think of ways i can teach him stuff all over again in english in less than 6 days!!! there should be a rule against gemini mommies, too darn fickle!!

well, i am physically incapable of expecting the worst fe ay 7aga, akhry aqne3 nafsy en whatever the "worst" could possible be, i am sure i can handle it... which is an optimistic point of view bardu!!! i never learn!!!

rasha saw how i kept going "OOOHHHHHH" at the flower, i almost leaned and kissed it but the man was already having doubts about our insanity :)

Ice Queer said...

French school def.! i was in jessuites in KG and i still hate my dad for moving me 2 an English one 2 Egyptianize the Moroccan me! French school r much better and classy, they teach you life and etiquette! But am not sure if they still have the rule that 1 of parents must be fluent in French

Beem is a Scorpio, right? =D

P.S: We cant have it all, it is sad but true!

insomniac said...

jesuites is my first option believe it or not!

well, i am not fluent in french but if i give it time, i know i can be... yeah yeah too full of myself...

beem is a virgo :) was due on a libra date but i had to do a c-sec two weeks b4 my due date :) i am an air sign alright, but i'm done with libra!

what made you think he was a scorpio?!

Ice Queer said...

Cuz we Scorpios don't talk much abt ourselves/our life, we r very smart and have freaky memory =)
i'm dealing with too many Libras in my life; i totally understand u lol but male Virgos r just BLUKH! =P

vive jesuites!

insomniac said...

lol @ blukh.... he has a bit of a scorpio dark side, a bit vindictive and sometimes he looks at me like that kid from identity!!

well, i don't know enough male virgos, only one i can think of right now whom i really like, as for my beem, so far i like his virgo side except when he's too snotty!

Rasha said...

Commenting on comments ya Inso :)
about the tulip:
Having a favorite ay 7aga is actually good and we should enjoy that. fee nas kolo 3andaha zay ba3d..
I'm all for Iris, You're all for Tulips...we should enjoy their grace and beauty and uniqueness.
Handling their end is a must...or else we wouldn't be that fond of them.
and i'm pro kol anwa3 eldala3 ma3a nafsena these days :D

- YES YES YES YES and i could swear on this ( noting that I'm not into horoscopes )four severe cases can not be a coincidence!!!

male Virgos r just BLUKH! =P

Ice queer, enta ragel betefham :D

(except for beem because he's got a great mom and he's a cute cute cute boy )

gjoe said...

ma3lesh if there is a blukh sign, then that is scorpio!

insomniac said...

ya bakht el sunsign elly gjoe tedafe3 3anha :)))

i think it's safer that we don't just ditch signs randomly since family, friends and loved ones are on line here :)

anyway, gemini rules =P

Ice Queer said...

Rasha: hehe thank u! I raise my case! =D

gjoe: And u r? cough-GEMINI-cough?! Give me a break lol and dont get me started about the ultimate mood-SWINGS! =P
(no offence inso =D)

insomniac said...


(no offence taken)

gjoe is one of my favorite gemini people :) and i love her mood swings that do not even begin to compare with mine...

and there is a good point why geminis should defend virgos no matter how different they might be.... we share a planet until virgos find their own, so we feel a bit protective of virgos, or at least mercury makes us....

so let's just play nicely with the whole horoscopes :)

Ice Queer said...

Didnt know that u know that much about horscopes! =)

well, i can stand geminis much more than the psychotic virgos! (i guess it has something 2 do with the fact that my ex.bf was a one hell of a virgo lol)

Ice Queer said...

Forgot 2 say that i LOVE geminis in the right swings and i AVOID them in the hideous swings =)

insomniac said...

well, i know a lot about astrology; it's what i studied when all my colleagues at school were studying biology and chemistry ;))

geminis are easy to handle when they're not being crazy... we're air baby, no one can live without air... and we change so often we have to match one taste here or there....

ok, i will shut up now before i get all the other signs jealous, especially that i don't wanna get on a scorpio's competitive side!

Ice Queer said...

Lol @ ur last line =D
Anyway we get way off topic! Sorry 4 that hehe