tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post5623439635363799247..comments2023-09-04T15:08:41.137+03:00Comments on My Oblivia: Like it would ever mean anything to you…insomniachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10143064182385250795noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post-1839521077994871562008-09-16T09:19:00.000+02:002008-09-16T09:19:00.000+02:00you're right... kolo 3ando maloosh ay ma3na! it fe...you're right... kolo 3ando maloosh ay ma3na! <BR/><BR/>it felt better letting it out indeed... <BR/><BR/>i really hope it ends soon, YA RAB!<BR/><BR/>*sleepy morning hugs* <BR/><BR/>:)insomniachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10143064182385250795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post-32116310856663165532008-09-16T09:02:00.000+02:002008-09-16T09:02:00.000+02:00ana ektashaft mo2akharan en wala elkalam elkwayes ...ana ektashaft mo2akharan en wala elkalam elkwayes bey2asar wala elkalam elbayekh...<BR/>Law 7ad jerk oo ma3andoosh dam mesh 7ay7es wala yetghayar fe 7aga.<BR/><BR/>But it does feel OK to let it all out...sa7?!<BR/><BR/>Morning hugs*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post-90133109948782825762008-09-15T09:22:00.000+02:002008-09-15T09:22:00.000+02:00and R, you comment doesn't look half as long as mi...and R, <BR/><BR/>you comment doesn't look half as long as mine :)<BR/><BR/>leave longer comments please :))insomniachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10143064182385250795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post-28678583006610636302008-09-15T09:21:00.000+02:002008-09-15T09:21:00.000+02:00R :)here is the thing... or two...yes, part of my ...R :)<BR/><BR/>here is the thing... or two...<BR/><BR/>yes, part of my agitation is because justice has not yet prevailed... i am most certain it will one day, i am just not half as much certain that i will witness that day or that it will be enough to me, and the anger and my vengeance-seeking soul can't find peace that way...<BR/><BR/>i know all about how destructive hate is nonetheless... i know hate only makes me less of a good person and makes me even more vulnerable to my own demons... things is (or that's what i keep telling myself anyway) i know deep down that my hate for him will end when it's over; when he's no longer "my husband"...<BR/><BR/>i will forever hate what he has done even if i get over hating him once it's over... i will never understand it or accept it, even when i hear about it happening to someone else, it will always infuriate me because this is simply who i am, a desperate utopian who does not understand how some people can be so vicious for no good reason, even when reasons are so relative in this world of ours....<BR/><BR/>the fact that my kids will always yearn for him one way or another because "el damm bey7enn" disturbs me very much because i can't see how a child would long for a father (or a parent for that matter) who never had an ounce of care for him... da rabena wasa el awlad 3ala ahaleehom laken mawasash el ahl 3ala weladhom la2en supposedly it's instinctive; makes me wonder el bany adam da ma3moul men eh!!! again stupid stupid idealistic notions from my end!<BR/><BR/>i know my words are too blunt and convey too much darkness and hatred... but somehow, writing all those words down felt cleansing to me because they stopped replaying in my head... <BR/><BR/>i know all the rage and anguish will subside when i have less pressure in my life, but i also need to make sure they won't be lurking in the shadows of my head ready to attack next time i am feeling that low... so if writing them out stops them from poisoning my thoughts, then be it!insomniachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10143064182385250795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post-17511719592295180392008-09-15T01:48:00.000+02:002008-09-15T01:48:00.000+02:00Dear Inso,I know that no matter what I tell you ab...Dear Inso,<BR/><BR/>I know that no matter what I tell you about forgiveness , you simply couldn’t do it… it’s easier said than done actually , and for a person like you ,I think you’re like me in a way that I like to see justice right now , I want the offender to be punished right NOW , only then I can rest , but believe me , forgiveness is not for his sake , it’s all for you …you can’t be happy when a part of you is growing hatred , hatred is gonna eat your heart , and it’ll spread evilness to your soul and you’ll find yourself another person you don’t realize.<BR/><BR/>I’m not telling you to love the person , you just need to purify yourself from the poisonous feelings , only then you’ll feel nothing towards him neither hate nor love nor care …simply nothing as if you never knew him.<BR/><BR/>Of course that’s so hard to do when he’s a part of your life because of the kids and that’s the painful truth .<BR/>I think you need acceptance first, accept that you did a mistake , and stop blaming yourself for it … consider it a lesson(s) you needed to learn …simply love yourself no matter what.<BR/><BR/>As for the kids , genetically he’s part of them , and it’s a fact , so they will always want to love him cause simply he’s part of their own selves .<BR/><BR/>I hope I made any sense , rabena ysabarek w isA hynsorek , ed3eelo keteer w akeed hystageeb lely feeh el7’air leeky.<BR/><BR/>(sorry for the long comment :S )<BR/><BR/>RAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post-38172331221945882562008-09-14T21:26:00.000+02:002008-09-14T21:26:00.000+02:00shimaa,i can't promise him that "kol talabatoh mog...shimaa,<BR/><BR/>i can't promise him that "kol talabatoh mogaba" once he divorces me... howa maloosh 3andy gheir 7a2oh ennoh yeshoof welado, we da mesh 3ashanoh, da 3ashany ana we 3ashanhom homma; ana ma3andeesh este3dad enohom yeego fe yoom yeb2a howa 3andohom a7san menny simply because they miss the feeling of having a father!<BR/><BR/>thing is, they will miss that feeling... and it only breaks my heart because i know he doesn't deserve to be missed... i see how my own father calls me at work to check on them and ask me about their mood as i dropped them off at the nursery and i compare it to his intended ignorance and lack of care and i find my heart beating with hate and contempt for him... mesh adra 2a2ool Allah ysam7o la2eno beggad khosara feeh el sama7!<BR/><BR/>mesh 3arfa, 7assa eny men gowaya sooda awy... it's disturbing for me to feel that much anger and hate, and it's taking away all my inner peace...insomniachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10143064182385250795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3014953887294814940.post-28938807291064635802008-09-14T21:02:00.000+02:002008-09-14T21:02:00.000+02:00Hello InsoI am glad you poured it out. But plz don...Hello Inso<BR/>I am glad you poured it out. But plz don't degnify him with telling him these words. That guy doesn't deserve enek te3abareeh.le2noh mesh hay7es beta2neeb el dameer we kalamek mesh hay2asar fih.<BR/>lw lazem te2ooly 7aga, 2oleeloh mafeesh kalam ella lama netala2, or 2oleeloh dah e7na fi ramadan shahr khier we tasamo7 yalla nefta7 saf7a gedeeda 3ashan weladna, el saf7a di awl kelma fiha el tala2, we ba3d el tala2 kol talabatak mogaba.<BR/>matgbeesh seret enoh kasar fiky 7aga tekhaleeky matfakareesh fi el gawaz, le2n el 7aga elly mekhalyah saybek met3ala2a keda mesh enoh bey7ebek wala enoh khyef 3ala weladoh howa bey3mel keda 3ashan enty so3'ayara we 7elwa we bent nas we howa aktar wa7ed 3aref enek maksab le ay ragel, lw fata7ty el mawdoo3 3ashan tenfeeh hayshok enek bet2ooly keda betsabeteeh. <BR/><BR/>mesh 3arfa a2olek eh begad, bas isa rabena yefrg-ha wel mawdoo3 yet7alShimaa Gamalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13250945889265508611noreply@blogger.com