I think I get more ideas than the average person; and I don’t mean I am better than the average person at all. I just feel that my mind never rests and is always in quest of coming up with new stuff, most of which are useless and unimportant really, hence most of which are immediately discarded before I am even aware of them. it could be a Gemini thing, it could be a crazy thing, it could be a ME thing; all I am saying is that I get too many ideas for my brain to process, and if we add my short attention span to the equation, it leaves us to the conclusion that… ok I lost that thought!
Oddly enough, I have been having this certain idea for quite some time. And by quite some time I mean long enough for it to register as more than just a random idea! I actually gave it more than a couple of hours of thinking! I know it may not be the most brilliant idea, but something in me thinks it has potential. Therefore, I am putting it out there for a couple reasons; 1) I want it to be here staring me in the face to make sure I don’t lose interest like I always do, and 2) to leave it for whoever can take it to the next level; however, please let me in on it… it’s not copyrighted or anything, but I would really want to have a part and put my heart into it.
So here it goes in a short direct sentence, followed by explanations of how it came up and how I want it to be; boy, this WILL BE LONG:
I am thinking of starting a support group for divorced women or those who are still in the long spirit killing process of it.
There I said it!!
Now I will try to say more about the whole thing; however, to avoid losing my track of thought, I will put them out there in point… this is what I do when I am confused!!
Here are my disclaimers though, which are very important to the essence of the whole support group idea and its purpose:
- - This is NOT another Layla move, and by no chance is a feminist move or affiliated by feminism,
- - This is NOT a pro-divorce move; I still believe a married couple should try to work things out as long as they both have it in them. I know it’s relative, but I would like to know that people do understand what I mean here, and
- - This is NOT a man-hating thing; I do not hate men, I do not think all men are cheating bastards and I do not by any chance believe that all men are the same.
I hope we’re clear because I will not be happy about getting any comments that implies any of the above stated points. That sounded too formal!! Yikes!!
This is how it started:
- - Nile Girl once brought it up on her comment page when I said something about us divorced women; I don’t remember the exact dialogue, but I think this is how the idea seeped into my mind, only I never acknowledged it much then! Which reminds me, where the hell r u NG????!!! email me!!
- - When my friend H introduced me to a work colleague of hers to give me lawyer’s contacts; knowing her story, I was shaken with disbelief that such horrors do happen!
- - Something my father said about how he worries about me being a divorcee because here in Egypt the only support I would get would be through him and people who know me quite well to not misjudge me, and that there will come a time when it will feel like everyone even those who know me are avoiding me, and how it is different in the west because the society has systems that provide more understanding and support through different channels.
- - Again, when H’s colleague invited me and my kids to her daughter’s first birthday despite that she had never even met me; I was touched that she wanted to get to know me just because we have similar problems, and I wanted to go to give her the same support I would need.
- - I have been whining long enough about how I am tired of keeping it to myself, the whole divorce proceeding, and pretending to immediate family and social circle that I am “happily married”… I have been whining about how the long legal proceedings are taking their toll on me and how things should be different, yet I have not even tried doing something about it, perhaps it’s time to demand a change in a more constructive way.
Now I am not the most relentless person; as a matter of fact, I tend to lose interest as fast as an infant… but here is what I am; I am passionate and I am willing to put my heart into whatever I believe in.
I know it sounds contradicting, but that’s who I am. However, I think that having been in this drama I am still in, it would make me more willing to do something about it.
Here was my trigger:
Yesterday, I had to tell my 17 year old cousin, whom I used to baby sit that I am getting a divorce so that next time my soon to be x contacts him, he would not answer. Feeling how the words refused to come out of my mouth, and actually not knowing what the right words were, made me realize that it won’t be easy once I start telling more people in my social circle. This kinda ruined my weekend and made me go back to my unhappy place.
And it shouldn’t be hard; it is not a crime, it simply isn’t! I shouldn’t feel ashamed about deciding to end a marriage that was nothing but mental and emotional abuse, and no woman should. No woman should worry about how people will perceive her, and no woman should be subjected to humiliating phrases like the ones people in our society use whenever a divorcee is mentioned.
It is sad how people in our society have their own agenda about things they do not even understand, and I think it’s sadder that I have not taken the time to think about any of that until after being in such a situation myself. However, here I am trying to make the best out of it.
So, I haven’t really taken the time to think about the structure of that support group. I mean it could end up right here by me saying that things should be different…
Or a blog can be started only addressing that topic, but then I would worry about the whole gossiping, and I really do not like gossip that much, just the healthy dose that keeps me a female…
Or even a facebook group, which is not what I would want really since anonymity is highly appreciated for most people, at least at that stage…
I know for sure it won’t be any thing more than that for the time being, simply because I am not a planner and of course I only took so little time about the whole thing. No, an NGO is not what a person like me would have in mind…
Oh, and before anyone says it… if there is ever a blog or a facebook group, the name Oreedo 7allan so comes to mind making the whole idea sound obnoxious and appalling, so suggestions people!!! I think I just killed a few jokes there ;)